Tough Love
by noaluvjames
Summary: Summary: AU Hank Summers is a former high school football coach and a recovered alcoholic who's became a boxing trainer. He has a rising star named Spike that he loves like a son but also has a daughter, Buffy, from his broken marriage. Tragedy strikes an
1. Default Chapter

Summary: AU Hank Summers is a former high school football coach and a recovered alcoholic who's became a boxing trainer. He has a rising star named Spike that he loves like a son but also has a daughter, Buffy, from his broken marriage. Tragedy strikes and she comes back to his life, with a huge grudge and a backlog of accusations. How will she find it in her heart to forgive and heal old wounds? Why would she even want to?… Spuffy (family issues aside… or not ;)

Rating: R

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, etc.

Tough Love

Chapter 1: Strangers 

Buffy woke up and found herself in a moving bus. It was hot and crowded, the road was bumpy and a man besides her was snoring. His head jerked forward every time the bus jumped, but it didn't seem to bother him. The fact that she'd slept at all seemed strange to her, she couldn't remember the last time she'd had any sleep, not the deep kind of sleep anyway.

Not since her mother died. It had only been only two months but it seemed shorter. Time seemed to have frozen since she'd found her, dead, on the couch, and now she was heading to L.A, the last place on earth she wanted to be and meeting the last man she wanted to meet - Hank summers. Last time she'd seen him he was drunk, and having one of his usual fights with her mother. She was fifteen then and now she was twenty-one and dear old dad claimed to be sober. Said on the phone that he was a changed man. Said that he had a career now as a coach - boxing no less. He used to teach high school football, and now he was training some guy named after a pointy object. Buffy was outraged by the thought of it. He said he was a nice guy, but it sounded like Hank had finally found some monkey to do his chores for him and give him back his long lost pride.

Buffy looked around and realised the bus had stopped.

The man besides her woke up, blinked and looked around then at her face."I guess we're in L.A." He gave her a tinny smile and got up to grab his things.

_I guess we are. _Buffy did the same but with less enthusiasm.

"Get up you git!" Spike shouted at the young man who was lying on the floor. "Is that all you got? He smirked.

"Shut up Spike...I swear as soon as I find out which one of you is real I'm gonna kick your ass." Gunn tried to get up but fell back.

"O.k, come on Charlie boy." Spike smiled and reached out a hand for his friend. "Maybe you've had enough for one day?"

"You think!?" Gunn looked at him, annoyed.

"Okay hit the shower, I'm gonna do some laps."

Gunn started walking out of the ring, but then turned around.

"Where's Hank? Didn't see him today."

"Oh. I 'll come back later, he went to bring his daughter from the bus station.

"Yeah, heard about that, I'll bet she's a hottie."

"I've seen her picture once and yeah, she's okay" Spike shrugged.

"Just okay it doesn't sound so good coming from big bad Spike…"

"Well she was fifteen then and she's blond so definitely not my type."

"My bleached- headed friend, I've seen your type, she was creepy."

"Dru was just fine!" Spike snapped.

"For a blood sucker maybe," Gunn teased and saw his friend's eyes narrow.

"Aren't you going somewhere?" Spike said with a glare

"Fine, fine I'm going."

As his friend left the room Spike sighed, he really didn't want to spend the day in the gym by himself. Hank bringing Buffy into his life wasn't the best of timing right now. A big fight was coming soon and he still wasn't prepared._ Hope you know what you're doing hank, _he thought as he took off his gloves.

"And this will be your room." Hank looked at the small room he'd fixed for his daughter and then at her. He tried to get her to say something to him but she hadn't talked since the bus station. It seemed she was still in Sunnydale or some other far away place.

"You have men's clothes in here." Buffy looked at the jacket on the chair.

"Oh, that one belongs to Spike he probably forgot it last time he was here." Hank walked across the room and picked up the jacket.

"He sleeps here?"

"No, no…well not usually…sometimes we lose track of time so he stays the night, but don't worry honey now that you're here, I'm going to spend my spare time with you."

"You sure he won't mind?" Buffy scoffed.

"He'll get over it. He's a tough guy"

"I'm sure" she mumbled, and looked away.

"Yeah…but he's smart too, you'll like him honey. I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about."

"I don't know Hank, haven't met a lot of boxers who like to talk about art and politics."

"Well maybe he'll surprise you, maybe I'll surprise you as well. Then you could call me dad again. You think you could do that Buffy?" His voice was full of hope.

Buffy just looked down.

"Okay. I'll fix us some lunch and then we go down town"

Hank saw that Buffy wasn't responding and he turned to leave, but not before giving his daughter a last glance.

"Okay" he said again, and left.

****

"This is where you work?" Buffy looked at the old building.

"It isn't so bad. It looks better inside, come in." Hank opened the door.

"Here we have the ring and out back in the yard we have the workout equipment." They walked together and Hank pointed to the place he was talking about.

"And this is my office." Hank stood next to the door and waited for Buffy's response.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Sure honey," Hank smiled and opened the door.

Buffy entered and saw a young blond sitting in her dad's chair. He looked at both of them, surprised.

"Spike! You're here, " Hank smiled. " Come and meet Buffy".

Spike got up from his chair and stood next to Hank, and the girl in front of him.

"Nice to meet you." He reached out his hand. "Heard a lot about you."

Buffy took his hand, a look of discontent on her face. "Can't say the same about you," she muttered.

"Is that right?" Spike caught her words.

Buffy looked him in the eye and saw he was staring blatantly back at her. She gave him a long, hard look.

Spike was impressed she wasn't looking away. _Well this is interesting,_ he thought. _Feisty little thing aren't you._

Hank felt the tension in the room and just as Spike was about the say more he intervened

"Right, lets show Buffy the rest of the place! What do you say Spike?"

"My pleasure" Spike threw a smile in Buffy's direction and saw her roll her eyes.

The two blonds walked through the door and heard Hank suggest that Spike join them for dinner. Looking at each other they both knew it was going to be along night.

Hank's dinner didn't go as planned. He tried his best to make conversation, but it seemed like his daughter wasn't interested in anything but looking daggers at the blond man in front of her. When they finished their meal the three just sat and stared at each other.

"I guess I'll take the dishes" Hank said, getting up.

"Leave it Hank." Spike quickly stopped him. "I'll take care of it later." He looked at him and indicated him to sit down.

"Gee Hank, looks like you found the son you never had," Buffy sneered. She turned to look between the two men and stopped at Spike's scolding gaze.

"I guess you can say that Hank is like a father to me," he tried to say it as calmly as he could.

"What do you know, and what does your real father think about that?"

"I don't have a father…I'm an orphan"

"Oh." Buffy turned red.

_Kinda got your foot in mouth huh pet? _Spike almost laughed at the young woman's expression.

"I think we all need some fresh air," Hank stated clapping his hands together and getting up from his chair. "Why won't you two go to the balcony," he suggested. "I'll join you in a while."

"You alright hank?" Spike asked, concern in his voice.

"I just need a little rest."

"You sure?" Buffy asked, and the two man looked at her surprised.

"Yeah honey I'm fine why won't you go with Spike?" He turned to his bedroom and

Buffy looked at Spike as he led the way.

They stood together and leaned on the handrail, Buffy turning her gaze to the view as Spike stared at her, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. She was obviously still upset with her father, but it didn't seem to be the usual _parent's divorce grudge. _ He looked at her and knew what he had to do to make her open up.

"So…are you always that bitchy? Or is this a one time performance of the Buffy show?

"Excuse me? " Buffy looked at him surprised.

"I just don't get why you would come all this way if you're not going to give him a second chance?" Spike looked at her cold face and wondered if he didn't overstepped the mark.

"Excuse me? Did you hold his hand in rehab or something? Buffy scoffed.

"I don't remember you being a part of my family…hell, I don't even _know_ you!"

Spike looked at her and tried not to take her words too personally because on some level he knew she was right. She'd only known him for a few hours, he was a complete stranger to her.

"I understand where you're coming from," he said in a low voice, but I've known Hank for a couple of years now, I know his past and I know he's a good man. He wants to make things better between you two, and I think he deserves a chance."

"Oh! _You_ think so? That's rich. "Buffy said, unimpressed.

She gave Spike one last, harsh glance and turned to leave. Spike didn't give it much thought and grabbed her arm, she looked at him, shocked.

"I-I'm sorry" he quickly dropped his hand.

"Don't come near me," Buffy said harshly.

Spike looked at the raging girl in front of him and knew this was a battle he wouldn't win.

"I just wanted to help" he whispered.

"You want to help? Great, then stay out of my business."

And with that she stormed out.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2 : It's about violence

Chapter 2 : It's about violence

It was 3 a.m. and Buffy was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was small and smelled of smoke and some manly scent she couldn't put her finger on.

_Probably mr. passive aggressive guy _she thought. Spike's remarks didn't bother herso she convinced herself it was his _know it all_ attitude that had made her so cross. She didn't believe for one moment that her dad had changed. _People never change, you know that Buffy,_ she thought. _Especially men…they always let you down._ Her thoughts moved to Angel and their last encounter, after which he'd left her standing and walked away without looking back.

He hadn't given her lengthy explanations. He didn't have to, she know goodbyes well. She knew even without having to hear the actual words. It was a given in her life, and she knew when it was forever. But at least Angel had a reason for leaving, lame as it was. Riley hadn't even said goodbye, he'd just betrayed her. Made her feel bad for not being there. For not giving him enough. And then he'd made her choose. Thinking about it again made Buffy's blood boil and it made her feel angry, frustrated and furious. But most of all she felt guilt.

_Maybe I'm not enough_, she thought. _Maybe I'm one of those people who aren't capable of loving or being close to those who love them. _She sighed and closed her eyes._ I guess you and me have something in comment after all Hank. _

Spike was standing in the doorway. He'd never seen Hank so worked up as this before.

Hank held the phone with a strong grip and talked low, but harshly.

"He'll be ready, I'm telling you Jim, he can fight anyone, anytime. He's ready dammit!" Hank tried to keep his cool "yes, yes…okay…bye"

Spike entered the room as Hank put the phone down.

"Problem?" he asked, worried.

Hank turned his gaze from the phone and looked as if he'd just notice Spike's presence. He shook his head and sighed.

"Have you seen Buffy?" he asked suddenly.

"Didn't know she was here." Spike was still concerned, he knew Hank was hiding something.

"Who was on the pho-"

"I need to go somewhere." Hank cut him off and walked quickly to the door.

He turned to him just before he left.

"Find Buffy, tell her I'll be back at noon."

"Hank-" Spike tried to stop him but he'd already left.

_Bugger! I don't have time for this. _Spike looked for Buffy but didn't see her anywhere. She wasn't in the back yard or the office. So _where the bloody hell could she possibly be? _ He decided to look in the storeroom. It was a long shot but what choice did he have?

He entered the small room and noticed her, standing with her back to him,

unaware he was near. After taking a few steps he saw she was holding something. A photograph? He leaned closer and now he could tell it was a photo of her mother.

Hank had showed it to him once, he really didn't know how he could remember that, but he did.

Spike didn't know how she'd react to his presence, considering their last 'conversation'.

"Hey pet," he said simply.

Buffy turned quickly and saw Spike staring at her. She looked agitated, like she'd been disturbed from some deep thoughts.

"Sorry...didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't," she said firmly and put the photo in the back pocket of her jeans.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, Spike trying to remember why he was there.

"Hank had some business, said he'll be back at noon."

"Oh….okay." Buffy looked a little relieved.

Anther pause, both blonds just looked at each other.

"Are you alright?" Spike asked. He knew when a girl was crying, and he could tell she was one of those people whose faces turned red when they cried. _Must be a bitch being tough as she is and in such a vulnerable state. And not being able to hide it. _

"I'm fine," she shrugged.

"You just look a little shaken."

"What are you, some shrink?" she snapped, in a low voice.

Spike smiled at that.

"What?"

Buffy looked at Spike puzzled, but he said nothing. He shook his head and took a step back, as if he was going to leave.

"Wait." Buffy stopped him.

He looked at her and saw she wanted to say something important. He also saw a brief flicker of hesitation in her eyes, but then it was gone and she was cold again. Obviously trying hard to hold back her emotions.

"I-I was thinking about last night…I might have been a little harsh…I don't usually act like that. I'm…"

"Apology accepted."

"I wasn't apologizing." Buffy crossed her arms angrily.

"Oh?" Spike wiggled an eyebrow. S_ounded like a bloody Apology to me_ he thought.

"I still meant what I said about you butting in." She frowned.

Spike sighed and looked around. The room wasn't so full of equipment, just a few mattresses on the floor and enough space for training.

"You know what you need pet?" It was a simple statement.

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me," she sighed, irritated.

"A bit of the good old rough and tumble."

"Huh?"

"A little struggle, appease the aggressiveness, rush the blood a bit. Good for the soul too."

Spike looked at Buffy's face and then took a step back, looking around pointedly.

"I don't think so."

Buffy turned to leave but Spike blocked her way, moving closer.

"You're missing a good opportunity here pet. It's not every day I let someone hit me just for the sake of it."

"No thanks." Buffy looked at his face. "I don't like violence."

"What if someone attacks you in the street, you won't fight back?" Spike looked inher eyes, pitching his voice soft and low_. What's happening to me? _he thought.

"I can take care of myself."

Buffy turned to leave again, but before she could take another step, Spike was holding her in her place, both arms wrapped around her, her back pressed to his chest, her own arms locked . She held her breath.

"Show me" Spike whispered close to her ear.

"What are you doing?" Buffy came to her senses and started moving trying to free her self.

"Let me go!"

"Come on pet. Show me how you defend yourself," Spike said calmly.

"You're crazy." Buffy was actually frightened. She knew he was just trying to make a point, but his strong arms made her feel so helpless. And she really hated that feeling.

Spike turned her around quickly to face him tightening his grip before she could move._ Such a tiny body._

"See luv, that's what I was talking about. What are you going to do now?"

"Get off, you jerk!" Buffy tried to twist her body but it didn't seemed to make any difference.

"Maybe later," Spike grinned and kept holding her tight.

"This is L.A luv, not good old Sunny- D. I could be a rapist or a serial killer. Snappy insults won't cut it."

Buffy stopped moving, looking more upset than angry. Spike noticed her expression change and loosened his grip but before he could let her go completely she'd already made her move. He dropped to his knees in pain, holding his groin.

"Bloody hell!"

Spike closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again the room was empty, but despite his agony he couldn't help laughing.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3: life is a battle

Chapter 3: life is a battle

She wasn't hiding. So what if Hank kept asking her where she'd run off to yesterday? He'd been looking for her for hours, finally finding her that evening sitting next to the door because he hadn't given her a key and she really hadn't wanted to ask him for one.

She didn't want to be here in this stinky city. She knew he couldn't afford a better location in L.A , but the valley? If ever she'd imagined hell on earth this sure would be its location. Right here, right under her feet, this was her own personal hell- mouth. But she didn't have any demons. No, she'd left them behind in Sunnydale the day she'd said goodbye to her friends. The day she'd let go of her mom and realized that she was gone forever.

Her whole life had been an insignificant struggle for peace, all this time she knew she was fighting a ghost, but it had taken years of pain, disappointment and death to bring her here to face the person who was the reason for all of this. Whatever this was...she wasn't hiding anymore, not from anyone so now she was heading to Hank's office not caring who might be there.

"Where have you been Hank? I thought we had work to do" Spike stood next to hank's chair.

"Sorry Spike, just have a few things to do this morning. And left Buffy at the house and…" he sighed.

"What is it?"

Spike sat in front of Hank as he ran his hands over his temples.

"Met someone today" Hank looked up at him. "I'm worried about the fight."

"Well I'm not." Spike sighed._Have other performances to be worried about _He shifted in his chair.

"You okay Spike?" Hank noticed the young man's discomfort.

"I'm fine. So, who was the man you met?'

"Buffy's ex. He's trouble. Said something about the fight."

"You met Angel?" The two men turned to look at the young woman standing in the doorway, interrupting their conversation.

"Angel?" Spike raised a brow _what kind of a girly name is that?_

"Yes I did." Hank looked directly at his daughter.

"How is he?" Buffy entered the room completely ignoring Spike.

"Oh… he's fine." Hank stood up. "He's more then fine actually. Making a lot of money. Hasn't change his ways though."

"And what's that supposed to mean Hank?"

Spike looked at the two glaring at each other and knew there was more to this than met the eye.

"Wait…your ex-boyfriend is a boxer?" he got up and looked at her.

"No." Hank intervened his eyes never leaving Buffy.

"He's just a crook who loves making easy money and now he's doing it at our expense."

"You never liked him." Buffy stated.

"And now I know I had good reason not to. This is what he left you for Buffy."

"Well Kudos Hank. I wonder what this says about you," she sneered.

"I just wanted a better life for you."

"You're right, it was better, without you." Buffy turned to leave but stopped near the door

"At least he came for mom's funeral which is more then I can say about you."

She slammed the door loudly behind her.

Spike was looking for Buffy a_gain_, He didn't know why he was so drawn to her, just knew he was sick and tired of sitting in the dark, waiting for someone to tell him what the bloody hell was going on.

He always got what he wanted though, and if it was information he needed, he'd get it out of her no matter how many scolding gazes she sent his way. He spotted her sitting on the bench in the back yard and walked towards her. Just thinking about this girl being close to him again made him soften inside., _Man, she's got issues… daddy leaving her, boyfriend turning out to be evil And why again was he getting so worked up about this?…_

"You know pet…"

He took a few tentative steps and sat beside her. She looked as if she wasn't aware he was there.

"For someone who doesn't like violence you sure made an impression."

"I do that" she muttered, but quickly realized what she'd said and glanced at him.

"I mean…"

"I know what you mean." He gave her an understanding smile.

"I'm sorry" She looked down her voice a whisper.

"What's that luv? Didn't quite catch that." Spike smirked and moved closer to her.

Buffy frowned._ Of course he's going to make it harder on me._

"I'm sorry." She raised her voice enough so that he could hear her.

"Alright then. But just so we're clear, this is an apology?"

She gave him a cold glare.

"I guess I deserved it, in some way." Spike sighed and paused for a moment.

"So, what's the deal with that Angel fellow?" He gave in to his curiosity and risked a direct question.

"I don't want to talk about it." Buffy shrugged.

Spike look at her closely. Buffy looked sad. So sad that she hadn't even bothered to send him away. She just shifted in her place and stared blankly into space.

"He sounds like a complete wanker."

That got Buffy's attention, she turned to him.

"You don't even know him." _And what a wanker is anyway_?

"Don't need to luv, my Spike senses tells me he's bad news."

"Yeah, well where were your Spike senses were when my knee hit your crotch?"

"Good point, but you see the problem pet, you hit them on their weak spot." He grinned.

Buffy couldn't help smiling at his remark.

"I knew I could get a gleam" Spike looked at her pleased.

Buffy realized what she'd done and turned her head away.

"So, aren't you going to scowl at me for my behaviour?" she said after a few second of silence.

"I think I've learned my lesson. Going to step back with my manhood still intact." _Well most of it. _

Spike got up as Buffy gave him a puzzled look.

"I'm going to ask Hank what he needs me to do, have workout and stuff..." He'd barely finished what he was about to say as he turn to leave when Buffy spoke.

"Spike"

_She said my name. _he turned back to look at her.

"Can we start over?"

"What do you mean luv?"

She just reached out her hand and he stared at it for a moment, then took it warily.

"Hi I'm Buffy."

He grinned and tightened his grip.

"Nice to meet you Buffy…I'm Spike."

"Heard a lot about you." she smiled.

"That's funny, he said. Haven't heard a bloody thing about you."

He didn't know why he'd agreed to this but he should have known that this girl was the kind who didn't take no for an answer And after all, he was the one who'd suggested the _rough and tumble_ idea in the first place.

Buffy was standing in front of him wearing two black gloves, black shorts, black top. Her fists were close together in front on her face, ready for any attack.

"Need to go over the basics luv. It's not all about the punch and blows."

"Right." She dropped her hands. _what am I doing?_ her mind screamed at her.

"First you learn how to duck."

"Okay." She took a long breath and shook her head in preparation.

Spike looked at her, she looked so vibrant with her hair bouncing around and fire in her eyes. _So cute…did I just use the word "cute"?_

"Give it to me." O_kay that sounded too sexy, _Buffy muttered.

Spike took a few swings above her head, carefully avoiding any contact as she ducked down.

"That didn't hurt," she stated, standing straight, panting slightly.

"Didn't have any intention of hurting you."

"Why not?" she asked, almost offended

"Because your dad would kill me."

"My dad wouldn't hurt you…he needs you too much."

"Maybe luv… But I think he needs you more." Spike looked at her as if he was trying to make her see something that she wasn't willing to confront.

"Hank's got himself some fan."

"Just telling like I see it."

"Then you're blind."

Spike didn't say more, he looked at Buffy and knew the only thing she needed right now was time, she was still mourning her loss, and he knew well how angry she was.

"So…Are you going to teach me or what?"

"What do you want luv, a quick demo?" He started moving around her, scanning her.

"A blow-for-blow description you can map out and memorize? Doesn't work like that."

Spike faced her, looking at her with a glint in his eyes.

"Fine then, you train me." She gave him a sly smile.

Spike grinned at her frisky attitude. Who would have thought this was the same girl he'd talked to moments ago.

"Spike!" The sound of Hank's voice broke the spell between the two.

Spike turned around to face Hank who was standing a few feet away from the ring, his face harsh . Very obviously upset about something.

"We haven't finished our talk," he said as Spike approached to him.

"Wasn't my fault Hank, said you had to make a call."

"My office, now." Hank sent him a glare and turned around giving Spike no option but to follow.

Hank was pacing fretfully around his office when Spike came in. He tried to stay calm, but instead stood at the middle of the office and started rambling.

"This Angel guy, he runs all kinds of dirty deals in the boxing world. He has connections. He fixes bets by getting the inside info on the fight. Why was my daughter wearing your shorts?"

"She asked me for something comfortable to train in."

"Oh." Hank stared blankly at his desk.

"So what is the inside scoop Hank?" Spike asked expectantly.

"Did she ask to train?" Hank ignored his words and looked at him.

"Yeah." Spike raised an eyebrow looking at Hank's firm face.

"Think I should let her work here." Hank stated and went to his chair.

"W-wait , wait…you what?" Spike closed the distance between them.

"Don't know if you've noticed, but she's kinda pissed at me. Think some work in the office would be good for her."

Spike shook his head, not really following Hank's train of thought.

"What about the fight?" He asked again.

"Oh, don't worry about that, just rumours that Angel guy's spreading. You just focus on training okay."

"Alright."

Spike sighed as he closed the door behind him. Normally he wouldn't have let things like this bother him, but Hank was definitely worried about something serious. Usually he wouldn't have let him see that anything was wrong and that had always worked well for both of them so far_. So, what had changed_? A voice in the back of his mind told him to drop it, nothing mattered but focussing on training and getting in the best shape without any distractions.

"Hey! ready to teach me some moves?"

Spike looked at the girl standing before him. Buffy's tiny shirt was tight around her body, her skin was glistening from the hot summer day. , Her hair looked like a mop with a thick lock of it covering her face. She ran her hand around her neck and smiled at him.

He sighed.

_Bugger._

tbc


	4. Chapter 4: Not Alone

Chapter 4: Not Alone 

Buffy was sitting at her desk in hank's office going over the bills he'd left her.

It had been almost a week since he'd asked her to work for him and he'd been really surprised that she'd said yes, but she knew well what she was doing. It was her only chance for independence, she needed money, and she going to get it at all costs. If that meant working for dear old dad, so be it.

She hadn't decided where she wanted to go yet. She'd even considered moving back to Sunnydale, and was almost wondering why she'd even left the first place - She hadn't really wanted a reunion with her dad and her friends could have helped her, if only she'd had the courage to ask.

And all she was doing right now was cleaning up his mess. This wasn't going to bring them closer. She looked at the pile of papers in front of her and released a frustrated sigh.

"Problems pet?"

She looked up and saw Spike gazing at her. He and her dad had been working hard these last few days and it looked like he'd just finished training, His sweat stained clothes clung to his body, Buffy swallowed hard, looking at the outline of his muscles and return her gaze to the desk trying to remember what she was doing

"What do you know about finances?" She asked.

"Not a bloody thing"

Spike smiled at Buffy's pouting face and sat on her desk beside her.

"Haven't seen you all week luv…I'm guessing Hank is keeping you busy?"

"Look who's talking" Buffy shifted in her chair and faced him, she didn't know why but she felt almost as if he'd been trying to avoid her this week. She'd only seen him briefly and even then he'd been too focused on his training to notice her. _At least his abs look interesting… _

"I have a good reason…big fight in two weeks, need to be prepared"

"Who are you fighting?" Buffy crossed her arms, her interest piqued.

"This guy…Colin Combs… also known as the Angel of Death"

"That's so lame" Buffy sneered.

"What?"

"The name, I mean, what's that supposed to do, strike fear in my heart?" Buffy placed her hand in the middle of her chest. "Oh my god, I'm so scared," She said in a high-pitched voice.

"It's not a joke luv, the man almost killed his last rival"

"What did he do to him?" Buffy turned serious.

"Nearly turned him into a bloody vegetable, that's what he did"

Spike got up from his chair and stood in front of her desk, he saw Buffy's face frozen and realized his words had affected her more then he'd planned. _Stupid git._

"Professional hazard, ini't luv?" He said trying to lighten the situation a bit.

"N-not the words I had in mind" She said slowly.

Spike leaned on her desk with both hands and looked closely into her face.

"Afraid something will happen to me pet?" He teased.

"Get a grip" She mumbled and turned away.

Spike smirked as he saw her face turning red, paused for a moment then moved away.

"You know luv… I still owe you a lesson."

"Huh?" Buffy looked at him trying to figure what he was talking about.

"You, me …Training… Hello?"

Spike looked at her puzzled face waiting for a response

"I though you said you don't have time for training and stuff."

"Have time right now," He smiled._ To see you in those shorts again,_ He added mentally.

"Besides Hank went down town. Won't be back until 6…so what do you say?"

"O-okay...I guess." Buffy looked around her, sighed then got up from her chair, leaving the papers as they were.

"Harder luv" Spike held the punching bag.

Buffy was trying her best to throw hard punches at it but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to satisfy the athletic blond standing calmly in front of her.

"Come on pet, you're not even trying!"

"I'm-_punch_-doing- _punch_-my-_punch_-best" She panted and looked at him.

"Your best isn't so good luv, May as well be me standing here instead of this punching bag."

"Are you offering?" She glared at him.

"To be touched by your little fists," He smirked. _Think I can find better use for these lovely hands_ _…no, no, no what am I thinking, Hank's kid, remember you git. _

"You okay?" Buffy asked looking at his blank face.

"One more luv." Spike said taking a grip on the bag. "And this time at least make me lose my balance." He grinned.

Buffy really wanted to wash that smirk off his face. He'd been teasing her since they'd started this and she really didn't like it when people assumed she was weak or frail, just because she was petite.

She took her position and prepared herself to swing her fist with as much force as was needed to make an impression.

And she did.

"Bloody hell." Spike held his nose, bending forward with a groan.

"Oh my god! Spike… Are you okay?" She knelt before him, her eyes wide.

"I'm so, so sorry."

"It's alright" Spike raised his head to look at her.

"Spike, you're bleeding"

"Damn" Spike noticed the blood dripping through his fingers..

"I have a sensitive nose." He replied, his voice muffled.

Standing up from the floor Buffy started to giggle.

"Don't you think you should have chosen another profession?"

"Just a blood vessel, I'm used to it"

"Really didn't imagine you being so delicate" She said unable to contain a smile.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you" Spike said, irritated.

"Among other things" Her smile faded a little when she realized that she really had hurt him.

"Yeah…like what?"

"Umm I don't know...the way you talk maybe."

"What's wrong with the way I talk?"

"I overheard you say to Hank you saw two birds shagging on the telly. Were you watching the discovery channel?" She teased.

Spike was actually turning red. He dropped his hands and looked at her.

"Let's called it a day luv, need to get this cleaned up. What do you say?"

"Okay… I think I'll go grab something to eat." Suddenly Buffy felt a bit embarrassed. She turned as if she was looking for something.

"There's a diner down the street if you want to eat out." Spike wanted to say more but something stopped him.

"Great…" Buffy mumbled then hesitated for a moment.

"You want to come with?" She asked quickly.

"Sure… I'm feeling a bit peckish myself."

She smiled at that.

Spike frowned.

"What?"

The diner was almost empty and they had nothing to do but sit and gaze at each other while they waited for the waitress to bring them their lunch.

"So…what's your real name?" Buffy said breaking the ice.

"Why do you think Spike isn't my real name?"

"Well… It might be…I already know you don't have any parents and no parent in their right mind would give that name to a child… unless they really hated him," she added smugly.

"Yeah… 'cause Buffy is such an intelligent name?" Spike raised an eyebrow.

"My mom gave me that name." Buffy glared at him, face frowning.

"Oh…sorry pet...I didn't mean-" He said almost choking on his words.

"God! You're so easy…" Buffy said grinning and looking at Spike's contrite expression.

"Y, you little minx."

"Careful! " Buffy pointed her finger at him playfully. "You might hurt my feelings."

Spike couldn't help smiling at the look in her eye., She really loved giving him a hard time, and for some reason he really didn't mind.

"William." He said in reply to her earlier question.

Buffy gave him an attentive look, her smile still lingering on her face.

"That's what people called me until I was sixteen," He explained looking at her puzzled face.

"What happened then?"

"Then I changed it pet" Spike shrugged. _Not going to tell you my bloody life story. _

"Come on, I'm sure there's a juicy past there and it's only fair since you seem to know everything about me"

"Not everything," Spike said softly tilting his head to look at her.

"I mean basic stuff," Buffy mumbled looking down to avoid his piercing gaze.

_Why does he do that? _

"Okay! Going to ask you twenty questions." Buffy tried to lighten the mood.

"Where's the bloody waitress?" Spike muttered and looked around. The direction this conversation was heading was starting to worry him.

"Fine! Just five then…" She reassured him.

_This girl is going to be the death of me_ Spike glanced at Buffy for a moment.

"Alright pet" He sighed.

Buffy grinned and putted her hands together ready to fire.

"When did you come here?"

"Three years ago"

"Alone?"

_Bloody hell_ "No, I had a girlfriend, I followed her here."

"Where is she?"

"I don't have a fucking clue."

_Was she pretty?_ "Don't you care?"

"No…you have just one more question pet."

"Are you glad you came here with her?" g buff, _Obvious much? _

"Yes and no."

"You need to give me more then that." Buffy smiled and leaned on the table.

"Why's that luv?"

"Cause I said so."

"Right…" Spike gazed at her lips which were just inches away from his.

He sat back and looked at Buffy. She was still waiting. He sighed.

"The short version. Yes, because I met your dad and no, because she cheated on me."

_"Oh." _

"Why am I telling you this?" Spike groused.

"Maybe because I asked" Buffy gave him another tiny smile.

The waitress came and put their plates and drinks on the table. They ignored her and just kept looking at each other as if she wasn't even there.

"One more question. Please?"

"What pet?"

"Do you like what you do?"

"Hit people and get away with it? Every working class man's dream."

"The real reason"

Spike hesitated for a moment.

"Have nothing to lose pet. No family, no friends, no ties to this world…nothing really holding me back, so why not?"

"Well, that's depressing." Buffy took a sip from her drink.

"No, it's realistic and you know it too...the feeling you get when you lose someone you love, the knowledge that you have no one to rely on but yourself."

Spike gazed at her attentively.

"You know what I'm talking about, don't you luv?"

Buffy was taken aback by his words, not sure exactly what to say.

"Yeah…" She sighed, nodding her head slightly. "I mean yes I do." She said looking at him firmly.

Spike smiled in understanding.

"Knew you would"

Buffy sat on her bed and thought about her earlier conversation with Spike. They'd left the restaurant silently and he'd walked her to home. She hadn't had anything important to say and for some reason he didn't speak either, and it had seemed perfectly normal. After they'd said goodbye there was an awkward pause, a brief moment when neither of them had know what to say or do next, then they'd quickly gone their separate ways without looking back.

Now her mind was working overtime. Filled with more questions she wanted to ask him. Questions she needed to ask herself. She lay down on the bed, fully clothed, one arm across her eyes. Sometimes it felt as if she had a great weight on her chest and she could hardly breathe because of it. These last few months had been exhausting. First finding out about her mom's disease, then dropping out of college to take care of her. That had cut her off from her friends. Riley leaving her, and then, her mom's death It had felt at the time that the entire burden had fallen onto her shoulders and she had no one in the world to share it with. But _maybe_ she'd wanted it that way? Her friends had been there to comfort her. Her dad had called her almost every hour, and on the night of the funeral she hadn't been completely alone. She hesitated for a moment holding that thought, then she picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?" a low voice sounded on the other end. It seemed to disappear with the background noises.

"Angel?" Buffy could barely hear him.

"Buffy...is that you?"

"I'm in L.A" She raised her voice.

"I know… talked to your dad the other day."

"Right" She remembered.

"Never thought you would go through with it, Buff."

"I need to talk to you."

"Of course...maybe I could call you later and-"

"No, we need to meet , I'll see you at the diner near your old place tomorrow."

"Okay-"

"Bye Angel." Before he could say anther word Buffy put down the phone.

J_ust don't let me down again _she sighed.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5 : Just Friends

Chapter 5 : Just Friends

The diner was nothing like Buffy remembered, but then they'd only been there together once and that now seemed like a life time ago. Angel had been very interested in the apartment for rent across the street and had told her it looked like a nice place to live. Three months later, after their visit to L.A, he'd moved in there. He'd never told her how it got burned down, but from what she knew about his recent activities it wouldn't surprise her if it was an insurance scam.

_God we use to know everything about each other…or at least **I** thought so._ Buffy walked into the dark, smoky diner wondering if it had new owners. Just as she was about to walk into the back room Angel appeared in front of her, holding the door. He faced her as he closed it behind him slowly.

"Hi Buff."

There was a glint in his eyes, like he knew something the rest of the world didn't.

"Angel" Buffy said simply, her face set.

He pointed to the table next to them and they sat in front of each other. Two months since the funeral, but Buffy felt like the man she was seeing wasn't the same, The way he was dressed, his cocky smile and even his cologne made her feel he was a complete stranger.

"How have you been Buffy?"

"Angel this isn't a social call" She said.

"It's not?" He raised a brow.

"Look I appreciate your support… what you did for me after mom died, that meant a lot, but you chose your path and I chose mine."

"Okay Buffy…what this is about?" Suddenly he looked impatient.

"I want to know what you talked about, with my dad…about Spike," Buffy muttered afraid of what she might hear.

"Why won't you ask him?"

"I want to hear it from you."

Angel sighed and sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.

"Had a little misunderstanding your dad and I…he heard me talking to some guy and misinterpreted, that's all."

"Is it true you been spreading rumors about Spike?"

"Rumors…Buffy please" He mocked.

"Your getting paid for this aren't you? If Spike loses you benefit"

"Buffy I'm just doing my job"

"Some job you got Angel" she said incredulously.

"Never lied to you and I'm not now, I have sources"

"Who's your source?"

"I can't say"

"Fine…then what is it Angel? Just tell me what this so-called source told you."

Angel sighed and looked away, his expression one of annoyance at her request.

"At least tell me that," Buffy said, calmly.

"He has a condition-"

"Condition?"

"Medical condition…it's his heart, he's not fit for boxing, Buffy. It could kill him."

Buffy gave Angel a pensive look, her mind was racing , she couldn't believe what she'd heard. Trying to push his words aside she got up quickly from her chair, infuriated.

"You know Angel… I never thought you'd stoop this low."

"Well Buff …sorry to disappoint you….again" He shrugged.

"I really thought you would come to your senses...not for me no…for your self

For the man I thought knew."

"Maybe you didn't know that man as well as you thought…again, I'm sorry."

"Good bye Angel" She turned to leave without looking back.

"Take care Buffy" Angel said quietly looking at her disappearing through the smoke and crowd of people coming their way.

"Oh daddy… Who was that ball of sunshine?"

Angel turned around to the voice that came from behind him.

"What are you doing here Dru? Thought I told you to wait out back"

The dark-haired woman sat next to him and petted his head playfully.

"Was it Betty?...Naughty Angel, You should know not to break little girls heart."

"It's Buffy, Dru"

"Sweet like a lolli- pop, but you know what happens to you after you eat them don't you…All you're left with is a shiny piece of wrapping paper"

Dru stroked her hand down Angel's thigh and started to caress him eagerly.

"But you like your hard candy don't you daddy?" She whispered, her breath hot against his ear.

"You're crazy Dru" He answered huskily, watching the brunette's amused face.

"Yes, yes I am" She laughed and gave him a wicked grin.

"Now…" He moved her hand away from him.

"Stop fooling around and tell me more about your precious William."

Buffy entered the training room and saw Hank observing Spike fighting in the ring. Buffy stood beside him and did the same, Spike looked just fine. _Really fine_, in factShe let her gaze run over his semi naked body. He was so muscular you _really could bounce a coin off those abs or better yet… _

"Buffy!" Hank waved a hand in front of her face.

Buffy blinked and looked at her dad.

"Hi pumpkin, where have you been?"

"Oh hi! Hey! Me? I was shopping" She mumbled.

"What did you buy?" Hank looked at her empty hands and raised a brow.

"Window shopping" She corrected herself.

Hank nodded at that.

"Bloody hell!"

The two heard Spike shouting and turned around to find him lying on the floor.

Quickly they got inside the ring.

Gunn helped his friend up.

"I'm fine" Spike muttered as he took his hand.

"What happened?" Hank asked looking at Spike, who was limping.

"Just twisted my ankle, think there was something on the floor."

"Or you just lost your concentration." Gunn gazed at Buffy, who gave him a puzzled look.

"Take a break Spike" Hank mumbled and turned for his office.

The three were left alone in an awkward silence, Buffy stared at Spike, looking down and trying to stand primly. Gunn sending sideways glances at them.

Spike raised his head and broke the silence.

"Buffy this is Gunn, Gunn- Buffy" He mumbled wearily.

"Hi." The two exchanged brief looks.

"Spike… Can I talk to you?" Buffy felt a chill run down her spine. _What am I doing!? What I'm going to tell him?_

"Sure pet," He replied.

"Alone?" Buffy looked at Gunn who was still looking at the two in a strange manner. _what's up with that guy?_ She wondered.

"I need to go anyway…see you at Wally's later?" He said to his friend.

"Sure thing Charlie."

Spike waved him off and returned his gaze to Buffy who looked rather nervous. _ What's with the lip- quiver…not that I mind…so adorable._

"What's up luv?"

"I don't think you should fight Combs" _straight to the point huh Buff_

"Oh" Spike froze for a moment then narrowed his eyes.

"Why not?"

"I-I think he's dangerous and-"

"You talked to your ex?"

"Yeah" Buffy sighed at Spike expression. He was clenching his teeth, his blue eyes darkened and he wasn't even blinking._ Oh that's not a good face_ she thought.

"What did the ponce say?"

_What could she tell him? That Angel had told her he was risking his life every time he went into the ring? Was it honestly any of her business?_

"That Combs is crazy, he uses what ever means necessary, he could kill you."

It was true after all.

"I don't think he said that." Spike turned from her and started to take off his gloves.

"Why not?!" _what are you hiding?_

"Because pet, your Angel's job isn't to worry about my well being… on the contrary."

"He's a friend of mine, I don't think he's lying."

"Just a friend?" Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Why? What do you care?"

"I don't" He threw his gloves aside.

"Good" Buffy muttered.

"And you shouldn't care about me fighting Combs"

"Fine! I won't!" She frowned.

"Good" he said firmly and stooped to get out of the ring.

"Glad we had this conversation pet"

"Jerk…" Buffy mumbled and walked past him quickly.

Spike was left at the side of the ring. leaning on the rail, a peevish look on his face.

He watched her retreating back.

_What's her problem?_

When she went to her father's office later that day, all full of flames and accusations

the last thing she expected was for him to bring her a letter from Willow and her friends.

_Seems like they haven't forgotten about you after all hun_. Buffy took the letter remembering her earlier statement about cutting herself off from everyone. She'd said that in a moment of frustration and knew that she wasn't going to be able to live with her dad without giving stuff away, and he _was_ her dad whether she liked it or not, with all the confusion that went with that, One minute all she could remember was the lying bastard who'd left her and her mom and the next she don't know what to think, She couldn't help remembering the good stuff - the man who'd taken her ice skating and who'd brought home pine trees for Christmas. She'd hated the smell of pine trees since he'd gone because they'd reminded her of him. Christmas was just one of the things he'd spoiled in her life.

Now she was sitting at her desk, looking at her dad's trophies lined neatly on the shelf on the wall.

"Hank did a great job," Spike said standing beside her. She hadn't heard him coming in because she was too caught up in her thoughts.

"Hasn't he just?" she muttered looking at the shelf and realising that her childhood had been replaced by a collection of shiny objects.

"It helped him recover, do something good for a change."

Somehow it didn't surprise her that he understood what she meant.

"_Good?_ For himself, maybe. That's hardly a change! That's Hank being selfish. No thought about someone getting hurt!" _And he's doing it again._

"Bad stuff happens Buffy" Spike said calmly. "You can't blame daddy forever for all the nasties in this world."

"You're just like him," She muttered shaking her head.

"If that's suppose to be an insult, I don't get it."

"No ties to this world" She repeated his own words. "I can believe you'd abandon your family for a shelf full of shiny trophies, given the chance."

"I don't know about that pet." He gave her a harsh look. "Never had one, remember?"

Buffy turned herself away. "Forget it" She muttered.

"No…" He stood in front of her "Tell me what you mean," He demanded.

She got up from the desk and started pacing, giving him sidelong glances.

"Tell you what? That you're an idiot who's going to get himself killed for a trophy?"

Spike didn't know where that had come from, but before he could say a word Buffy was reaching for the cups on the shelf.

"Here," she said pushing them off, one by one. "There are plenty here, pick one!" She panted as she tried to reach the ones the high shelf.

"Buff-"

"Take it" She grabbed one and threw it at him. It hit the floor with a dull clatter.

"What are you doing?" Spike said, stunned.

"This is what you want right?! So here take them all"

And with that she ran her hand along the shelf, knocking the remainder to the floor.

Spike looked at her completely shocked, but obviously not as much as she was. Buffy turned to him, her face frozen. He could see tears forming in her eyes as she processed what she'd done.

"Buffy-" He approached her, but she took a step back, shivering.

She dropped her gazed and headed quickly towards the door, but Spike wasn't about to let her go. He stopped her and swung her around to face him.

"Wait!" He searched her face not knowing quite what to say, but noticing the single tear that lingered on her cheek. It made him loosen his grip.

As soon as he did that Buffy ran off, leaving him frozen behind her. Spike felt completely numb, like the empty room he was in. Suddenly, nothing felt real any more.

Nothing,

Except the horrible weight crushing his heart.

tbc


	6. Chapter 6: Tough Love

Chapter 6: Tough Love

"If love be rough with you, be rough with love"

_Romeo and Juliet_

Willy's place was packed and loud. Spike sat by the bar and drank his beer. Quietly, Gunn stood there observing his friend who hadn't moved from his chair all evening. He'd been acting like that since yesterday when he'd got back from training. The weekend was usually something his friend looked forward to. His time off from the pressure of training, but now nothing seemed to interest him.

"Lots of honeys in the house…" Gunn looked around sending Spike a sidelong glace.

"And I think that little redhead in the corner is checking you out Spikey." He pointed to her direction with his head.

Spike didn't even bother with a glance and just took anther sip from his drink.

"Okay!...what's up with you tonight man?" Gunn snapped sitting beside him.

Spike gave him a weary gaze.

"I'm knackered Charlie, had a long week." He shrugged, his voice low, his eyes glittering in the dim light.

"I've never seen you like this, Spike. Usually I'm the first to spill his toys and candy all over the floor."

"One step a head of you mate." Spike raised his glass and tooka deep draught.

"Okay, that's it!" Gunn took the glass from him.

"Hey!" Spike protested, and for the first time that evening looked directly at his friend.

"You know Hank doesn't like it when you drink."

"Yeah…he doesn't like when I smoke either." Spike stood up looking for his lighter in his pockets.

"He's not _my_ bloody father you know," he mumbled putting a cigarette in his mouth.

Gunn looked at his friend who was clearly unaware of his strange behavior.

"How the hell did you get drunk so fast?" He asked realizing the severity of his friend's insobriety.

"Years of practice Charlie boy" Spike kept looking for his lighter in his back pockets. His shoulders loosened and as he tried to steady his balance he almost stumbled onto the chair behind him.

"Yeah well, years of practice will go down the drain if you keep that up"

Spike sighed and pulled the cigarette from his mouth. "Bugger!, I lost my lighter."

"Good." Gunn got up from his chair. "Now let's go get some coffee in you."

Just as Spike turned to pay the bill a familiar voice came from behind him.

"Oh look what the night's brought me. My William."

Spike turned around quickly, hardly believing his eyes.

"Dru?"

"Yes dear boy…your princess is back" She approached him.

"W-what are you doing here?" Spike tried to steady his voice.

"Looking for new pleasures my Spike… you know me." Her eyes glittered as she spoke.

"Yes I do… and I'm not 'your Spike' any more."

"Oh…are you still cross with me, sweet Willy?"

Gunn chuckled lightly at the sound of his friend been called 'Willy'

The two glared at him.

"Sorry" He mumbled taking his seat and turning his gaze to the other direction.

"So you're back in town…didn't think I'd see you in a place like this, pet. Didn't go well with the ugly, rich fellow you've been seeing, then?" Spike raised a brow.

"He was too slimy for my taste" Dru came closer to him, watching his hard expression.

And his body stiffened as she invaded his personal space.

"What do you want Dru?"

"How about a drink William…for old times sake?"

"I don't know if they serve cyanide here."

"Oh wicked Spike!" She took a step back playing offended. "Shame on you, have you already forgotten all the things mommy did for you?"

"You mean lying to me, betraying me, taking my money and leaving? Nope haven't forgotten about that."

"So ungrateful you are, my William, but you know I'm right, deep down you know."

Quickly she was in front of him, again observing him closely, trying to catch his eye.

"You know you belong with me, I'm the only proper family you ever had."

"Not my family Dru, just my past. You know nothing about me anymore."

With that she gave him a spiteful grin.

"I know all of you secrets my dark prince," she whispered close to his ear,

gazing at his frozen face.

"Good bye Dru," he said in a low voice, his face still void of emotion.

Dru smiled and turned around to leave, but not before giving him a lascivious glare. Spike knew this glare all too well, he even used to like it, but this time he knew that it meant trouble. _Crazy bint… you sure do know how to pick them mate _ he scolded himself.

Gunn watched the whole scene, noticing his friend's agonized face.

"What is it?" He stood beside him.

"Just feeling a little sick" Spike pressed his fingers on his temples.

"Oh yeah?" Gunn scanned the place Dru had been standing moments ago.

"Think you're ready for sobering up right about now 'big bad.'" He handed Spike his jacket.

Putting a hand on his friend's shoulder he guided him to the exit.

"With any luck you'll forget you ever met that nutty Dru and avoid a hangover at the same time," He said.

"I don't think that's possible," Spike mumbled gazing down and taking one more fatigued step.

"No…probably not."

Gunn smirked behind him, as they walked out of the pub.

It was Saturday afternoon and Spike was sitting on the couch in his living room. He really thought he would sleep the day away after last night but instead he was staring at the television. After flipping between channels a few times he turned it off. _Stupid reality shows,_ he murmured. He didn't felt like doing anything and staring at the blank screen seemed like a good alternative to whatever he was going to do next.

Sure he was restless and usually if something was bothering him he would go and punch something, or even worse, someone, but this time, everything felt different.

He didn't crave a fight. He didn't feel angry or frustrated at all. He was just confused, because he knew it wasn't his peace of mind at stake, it was someone else's. He didn't know which bothered him more, the fact that someone else was hurting or that he cared so damn much about it. And why, for the first time in his twisted life should he bother _ caring _for someone other then himself?

_Bollocks_! He thought and got up from his comfy couch.

He was going to solve this problem the old Spike way

It was dusk, and dim light came through the window of Hank's office. Buffy was sitting behind her desk, letting a ray of light fall on her face. Blinded by staring directly at it she opened her eyes hoping everything would look clearer, but it wasn't.

She'd been doing a lot of stupid things since she arrived to L.A and seeing her dad again had certainty obscured her judgment. She was torn , she wanted to do the right thing, but how could she when she was no longer in control of her emotions.

_Oh god, what did I do?_

The door made a creacking sound as it opened. Buffy raised her head and saw Spike standing in the doorway, She swallowed hard and looked down to her desk, unable to meet his gaze.

Spike got closer to the front of her desk, all the while watching her, with a penetrating stare.

"What are you doing here?" She asked after a moment of unbearable silence.

"Took a stroll, found myself in your neck of the woods."

"Couldn't you have found a better place to be on a Saturday night?" She still wasn't looking at him, just playing with some papers on her desk, trying to look busy.

"Could say the same about you."

"I had something important to do."

"Yeah…like what?"

Buffy stopped what she was doing, gazing blankly at a spot at the end of her desk.

_What the hell, Buffy, tell him, tell him!_ Her mind was screaming.

She looked up at him and said without a trace of fear.

"I made a few calls to stop your fight with Combs."

"You did what?" Spike said, not believing his ears.

"You heard me."

"You can't do that…and by _can't _I mean that you didn't…surely no one took you seriously?" Still shocked he stared at her.

"No sponsors Spike, you know what that means." Her face was frozen as she acted as if it was a business decision and nothing more.

Now he was glaring at her, eyes flaming.

_What the bloody hell has possessed you to do such a stupid thing?_

Before he could say a word, Buffy got up from her chair, grabbing a few papers and walking to Hank's drawers, to file them.

Spike looked at her for a moment, still trying to figure how to react.

He moved closer to her, watching her organizing Hank's files.

"Do you really hate him that much?" he asked trying to control his temper.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Buffy put the files in place with shaking hands, trying not to expose her nervousness.

"I know you've been giving him the cold shoulder since you got here-"

"I barely see him!" Buffy raised her voice.

"So what…? Now you're jealous that I'm spending more time with your daddy?"

Buffy closed the drawer loudly.

"You know _nothing_ about my relationship with my father!"

"I know more then you think" Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"Yeah well, he's not the man he appears to be… and neither are you for that matter."

The last part of her sentence came out as a murmur, Buffy gazed away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike asked utterly confused.

Buffy turned to him with a sharp look, her face flushed.

"It means that you're a pawn Spike, you're nothing but a stupid pawn in Hank's game!"

"You know what luv?" Spike's voice hardened with each word. Now he was officially pissed off. "I'd rather be a pawn than a vindictive, disgruntled brat who thinks of no one but herself!"

Buffy didn't think twice and slapped him, hard.

Clenching his teeth Spike gave her a threatening stare.

"Get out," she said coldly, looking at his dark blue eyes.

"Fine" Spike muttered bitterly and turned to leave.

Gazing down, Buffy heard Spike's quick footsteps as he walked to the door.

She heard it open, but then shut closed loudly. She gazed up and saw Spike

walking towards her. Quickly he was in front of her. Grasping her body

He pressed her to the wall causing her to gasp in surprise.

"Spike-" She managed to say.

"Shut up." He muttered, before crashing his lips to hers.

Moaning into his mouth, Buffy slid her arms around him, not sure whether to caress him or push him away.

But even if she'd wanted to, she couldn't push him away. Spike's strong body was pressed to hers, and both his hands were around her waist holding her in place, trapping her against the wall.

Panting hard Spike broke the kiss giving Buffy the opportunity to shove him to the desk behind him.

He thought she was going to run away, but instead she pushed him hard, making him fall back onto Hank's desk

"Like it rough luv?" He smirked.

"Shut up." She repeated his words, in a low tone, resuming the kiss.

Before she noticed, Spike spun her around to the desk causing a few items to fall on the floor. Still kissing her fervently he let her lean back onto the desk and started to push the items away. With one hand behind her back and the other holding Spike by his T- shirt, Buffy helped him to clear the desk quickly and pulled him back over her body.

Buffy felt the warmest feeling. Her whole body lighting up to Spike's touch, Feeling his hands exploring her form made her ache with need and his warm lips tracing little kisses on her neck sent shivers down her spine. That feeling made her feel something she hadn't felt for a very long time. She couldn't tell what it was, she just knew it excited her and scared her the time.

Spike moved his hand to her breasts and started opening the top buttons of her blouse.

Hearing her moan his name he glanced at her, eyes full of awe.

Trying to find a more comfortable position on the desk, Buffy wriggled her leg beneath Spike's body. Coming in contact with her thigh she heard him groan.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" She said, concerned.

Taking a moment, Spike gazed at her face, wondering about the truth of her words.

"You much stronger then you think luv" He said intently.

Buffy's face set.

"Am I?" She murmured.

Still surrounded by her warm body, Spike rested his forehead on the crock of her neck. "Yes you are" He inhaled her scent deeply, paused for a moment and looked at her again.

Buffy gazed at him with eyes full of questions but instead of answering Spike just leaned and brushed his lips to hers As he was trying to deepen the kiss, suddenly a voice could be heard behind the door.

"Honey?"

Buffy and Spike froze, staring at each other.

_Oh my God._

They got up quickly from the table, starting to put everything in place the way it was, not having enough time before the door opened and Hank stood in front of them with a puzzled look.

"What the hell happened here?" He glared at the two standing in the middle of his messy office.

Leaning to the floor, panting lightly and still holding a bunch of papers Buffy looked up at him.

"Spike and I ….We just…" She gave Spike a desperate look.

"Hank…umm" Spike began to mumble "The thing of it is, we were-"

"I know what this is about" Hank cut through his rambling.

"You do?" Spike raised a brow.

Hank turned to Buffy firmly.

"Got a call from Jim, think we need to talk Buffy."

Buffy gulped and stared at him.

"Dad…"

Hank shivered at the sound of his daughter calling him dad for the first time in years.

Spike gazed at the two "Maybe I should leave you to it…"

When he didn't got any response he started walking past Hank.

"No, stay." Hank stopped him and sent Buffy a sideways glance. "As a matter of fact we all could use a long talk, let's go out somewhere" He turned to the door and then paused.

"Just clean up a little and I'll meet you at the car," he said still lingering near the doorway.

Buffy looked at Spike, he had a peculiar look on his face, she wasn't sure what it was, but it looked entirely different from any look she'd seen before. She didn't give it more thought and finished putting the rest of the items on the desk.

"Oh and honey-" Hank put his hand on the doorknob right before leaving.

"Yes" She complied obediently.

"Button you blouse dear…its cold."

With a smirk forming on his face Hank shut the door, leaving Buffy and Spike stricken and completely speechless.

tbc


	7. Chapter 7: Back and Forth

Chapter 7: Back and Forth

"Can I take your order please?" The waitress gazed at the three people sitting silently round the table. They'd been sitting like that for a while just staring at each other and it seemed like a good time to approach them.

"Nina!" Hank's face lit up, diverting his eyes from his daughter.

"Hello Hank, how have you been?" the woman responded with a shy smile.

_"_Great a bit busy... Haven't been out for a good meal in a while…"Hank gazed at his daughter and saw her raising a brow at his apparent affection towards the woman standing before him.

Every one at the table glanced in different directions. Nina picked up the tension and took out the pen from behind her ear.

"What can I get you?" She gazed at Hank's pensive expression.

"What? Um… I don't know…what do you want hun?" He glanced at Buffy.

"I'm not hungry any more," she replied calmly.

"Spike?"

"No, nothing thanks" Spike muttered.

"Maybe just drinks for now Nina…the usual."

"Okay" she smiled and turned away.

"What's the 'usual'?" Buffy gave her father a wary stare.

"Cider, non-alcoholic."

Hank could have sworn he heard her sigh with relief.

He watched the two sitting in front of him. Both were gazing down with anguished looks on their faces, as if they were waiting to be sentenced for some terrible crime they'd committed. He couldn't restrain his smile.

"It's not true, Buffy." he stated simply.

"What the bloody hell isn't true?" Spike snapped glancing at the two and releasing the tension he'd up till now kept inside.

"You really think, I would let Spike fight if I knew he had a heart problem?" Hank stared at Buffy.

"Wait, what heart problem?" Spike mumbled glancing at Hank who still hadn't torn his eyes from his daughter.

"You didn't do a lot of damage though." Hank sighed looking at his hands and then right back at her. "You really thought you could pull this off?" he asked curiously.

"I-I was just concerned," Buffy muttered "Angel said-"

"Angel is a liar."

"Bloody right he is!" Spike glared at her for the first time since they'd sat down. He had a harsh look on his face which made Buffy shift uncomfortably in her seat.

They gazed blankly at each other for a few more minutes barley noticing when Hank excused himself from the table to start a conversation with the waitress at the bar.

"You gonna believe every bit of crap this ponce sends your way?" Spike finally asked.

"I said, I was concerned-"

"Bollocks! You thought your dad was lying to you, couldn't wait to see that happen."

"Spare me the psychoanalysis okay? I've had enough insights for one night…"

Buffy murmured the last part and looked away.

"Oh yeah" Spike's voice softened "like what?"

Buffy glanced back at him and saw the change in his eyes. He gave her a penetrating stare just like he had the moment before Hank had interrupted them in his office.

"So, there's nothing wrong with your heart?" she asked as if trying to figure out the truth behind his gaze.

Somehow Spike seemed to find this hard to answer.

"No." he paused. "Nothing's wrong."

"I-I'm sorry for the trouble." Buffy said quietly, gazing down and brushing her hair back from her face.

"That's-"

"I guess I overreacted" she glared back at him.

_Overreacted? _ "Huh?"

"Look, about what happened before Hank came…." Buffy's eyes wandered to her hands as she spoke" The thing is that… I-I wasn't myself and then…what happened …I guess it was-"

"A glitch?" Spike cut through her rambling.

She looked at him wide eyed.

"I'm sorry." He gazed away while blurting out the words. "I wasn't thinking, I should have use better judgment, considering…"

"Well… I-" Buffy was overwhelmed and a little offended by the arrogance of his statement. She gazed away as well, trying to figure out the change in his tone.

"Here's your drink," a young waitress said putting the cups on the table.

"Excuse me," Buffy tapped on her hand before she turned to leave. "Where's the waitress from before?...Nina?"

"Um… Nina yeah…she's talking to that cute guy at the bar." She turned so Buffy could get a better view.

"Great." Buffy mumbled watching her dad leaning on the bar and flirting shamelessly with the attractive waitress.

After staring at him for a few moments he finally caught her gaze and approached the table. She wanted to be angry at him but the way he was treating her since she'd arrived was so different from what she'd remembered, that she couldn't be. He wasn't as angry or frustrated. In fact he looked rather happy, and it seemed like he wanted her to be happy as well.

_If only such a thing could be possible. _

"What's happening kids?" Hank's face fell as soon as he saw Spike's hard expression.

He sat down and looked at the two.

"Dad, like I said to Spike…" She gazed at the man beside her and noticed the distant look in his eyes. "I'm sorry" she muttered.

"That's okay hun, all is forgiven." He gave her a tiny smile then reached his hand across the table, fixing her gaze as if he was about to say something important.

"We have a long way to go, I know this last year wasn't so easy for you, but we've got the chance for a new start. A clean slate. Not many people get that, right Spike?" He turned suddenly to the drowsy young man before him who seemed rather startled.

Spike nodded but still didn't look at Buffy.

"Let's not talk about the past anymore." Hank leaned back in his seat. "Let's talk about-"

"Ben!"

The two men glanced at the direction Buffy was looking and saw a young man standing by the table and smiling right back at her.

"Buffy!"

"What are you doing here?" she got up from her seat.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I moved to live with my dad, I don't know if you remember." She glanced at her dad

"Sure, nice to see again sir."

"Please call me Hank," her father said smiling at him.

Buffy and Ben stared at each other awkwardly.

"So…you moved here?" she asked .

"Yep. Two days ago. How come you didn't tell me you moving?"

"Well I didn't know myself until…well you know."

"Yeah"

"Would you like to join us?" She pointed to a spare seat and with a sidelong glance saw Spike raising a brow.

"Actually I came with some friends, would you like to sit with us?"

"Sure" Buffy's face lit up but then she remembered she wasn't alone and she looked at her dad enquiringly.

"Go ahead honey, Spike and I have something to discuss."

"Okay then" she looked at Ben who led the way, and she gave one last glance at the table, noticing Spike's frown. Their eyes locked then she sighed and turned away.

"Who's that Ben fellow?" Spike asked watching the two who were now standing together across the room.

"He's the doctor who took care of Joyce," Hank replied.

"You know him well?" Spike tried to sound casual.

"Just saw him once, when I came to visit to the hospital."

"Ha-ha." Spike noticed Buffy and Ben were laughing._ what are they talking about? She's doing the hair flip, God he's such a nancy boy, what is it about doctors that's so appealing to women anyway? Is it the white coat? Well he's not wearing it now… What a wanker._

Hank took a sip from his drink and stared at Spike, it was painfully clear his mind was miles away.

"So… ready to fight Combs, Spike?"

"Sure" his voice was low, eyes still fixed on the pair.

"You know, he's going to hold nothing back, Spike, he can do a lot of damage"

"Yeah… like he could ever hurt me," he murmured.

Hank eyes followed Spike's gaze to Buffy and Ben. Shaking his head, he took another sip from his drink.

The next morning Spike walked quickly to the gym knowing that Hank would be waiting for him anxiously. The timing was crucial since the fight was in a few days and he couldn't let him down. He couldn't let himself down either and he didn't know why, but he hadn't felt so eager to fight these days. There was a voice in the back of his mind that was trying to tell him something, and there were moments that he really felt like he couldn't think straight and he was losing his mind. Things use to be so clear. Eat, sleep, fight, shag. Everything in its right place, but now…

He froze in his place not so sure how to react to the sight in front of him.

Buffy was leaning towards the guy from the night before, his arms were around her waist, and they were _hugging?_

Eventually they let go of each other and Buffy turned towards the door while the young men who had just left her arms walked towards Spike. Spike took a few rushed steps and bumped into him as he passed.

"Hey! Watch it!" Ben groused.

But the angry boxer just kept walking with a blank look on his face.

Spike entered the gym and spotted Buffy standing next to Hank's office door. The attentive look on her face told him she was eavesdropping on something. He moved closer and stood beside her, but so that she didn't notice his presence and he could hear loud voices coming from behind the door.

_No need to for a bloody glass_ he thought.

"How long this been going on?" Hank said furiously. He didn't wait for an answer. "I'm going to kill him!" he stated.

"Hank listen," Gunn replied calmly "I've told him… it was just one time-"

"So why's there a damn lighter in my office?" Hank yelled and Spike could swear he heard the walls shudder.

"Oh you're in so much trouble mister." Buffy gave him a sideways glance noticing he was standing beside her.

"Naa, you haven't seen the worst of it pet, he's actually in a good mood." As he finished his sentence Hank started shouting again.

"Is he drinking too...He is?... Isn't he??" Spike heard Hank pause for breath. "I swear it… as soon as he comes in today, he's going to regret his bleached head ever passed through that door!"

"That's your cue," Buffy grinned.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?'' Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"I just think it's selfish of you to let Gunn take the heat." she said innocently.

"How enlightened of you." Spike clenched his teeth and added, "you're just happy daddy isn't bearing a grudge for what you did last night."

Buffy shrugged trying to avoid his stare as they both heard the phone ring in Hank's office. A moment later they heard him speak to Gunn.

"Fight's been delayed"

"It wasn't me." Buffy gazed at Spike and pouted at his aggravated reaction.

They both got closer to the door and listened carefully, staring at each other.

"What happened?" Gunn asked.

"The schedule wasn't right, it's just a few days delay, I guess."

Spike sighed and took a step back as if he was going to leave.

"You're not going in there?" Buffy asked curiously.

"It can wait." He turned to look at her.

"Afraid Hank will kick your ass?" she smiled.

"What are you doing with these." Spike said suddenly noticing the gloves in her hands.

"Ho." She raised them as if she'd forgeotten she was holding them. "Thought I'd throw some swings at the punching bag."

"You don't need gloves for that luv." Spike smirked.

"I know, but it just hurts my hands," she said with a childish voice and gazing down.

_Stop pouting , stop, stop, stop_. Spike couldn't take his eyes from her mouth.

"Y-you really should go and see what's going on…about the fight" she stuttered meeting his stare.

"I don't see you rushing in there." He glared at her and saw tenderness in her eyes, and suddenly the memory of what they'd share last night came back.

"And besides I rather be fighting you," he grinned.

Buffy smiled at that.

"Mutual," she muttered.

Spike got closer, amused by the light blush on her face.

"So what are we going to do about it?" he asked in a husky voice.

"Duck damn it duck!" Spike shouted.

"Stop yelling at me!" Buffy glared at him as they circled the ring. _Why is he acting like this?_

"Fine then. If you won't duck I guess I should just hit you."

"I'll dare ya," she challenged him raising her chin.

"Yeah maybe then you'll go play nurse with the good doctor," Spike blurted out not giving his words a second thought.

Buffy's smile dissolved.

"Shut up, Ben is nice." She dropped her fists that were in front of her face.

"Didn't mean to imply otherwise. I actually like him, seems like a good fellow. He has …what's the word I'm looking for…oh yeah…vulnerability."

Buffy gazed at him, detecting the resentment behind his supposedly amused tone.

"He's just a friend" she muttered.

"Seem to be going around, huh luv?"

"What's that supposed to-"

"You just have a lot of _friends_….makes a bloke wonder."

"You're just jealous" _Bad choice of words, bad, bad…_

"Of what…?"

_Need to compensate_

"Because he's a doctor…he save lives…what do you do? You endorse pain"

_No, I didn't just say that…_

Spike was silent for a moment, just standing still before her, watching her struggle with an expression that fell between defensiveness and shame.

"Well pet, you know what they say? It takes one to know one." He turned to leave.

"Hey! Wait…" Buffy shouted, but he kept walking quickly out of the ring.

She tried to catch up with him, but failed to close the distance between them.

Buffy didn't think and tried to kick him on the side of his leg, but before she could blink Spike turned around and caught her leg in mid-air. As she lost her balance, Spike pulled her towards him letting her hands fall onto his chest as he wrapped his free hand around her waist to prevent her falling.

"It's not kick boxing luv," he smirked holding her leg tightly and softly moving his hand up her thigh.

Feeling his hard chest pressing against her Buffy tried anxiously to catch her breath. She gazed at Spike's face and saw his eyes darken. Slowly the sensation caused by the nearness of his body washed over her and she gasped in disbelief as she felt her thighs brush against his groin.

"Spike-"

"Am I your friend?" His husky voice cut through to the fog she was under.

"Huh?" she gulped still exploring the changing shades of his eyes.

"I asked, am I your friend?" His grip tightened around her waist.

_What does he want me to say? _

_What is the right answer?_

Buffy was lost, Staring at his lips, she wanted nothing more than to surrender to her true feelings.

"No" she whispered seeing his lips forming carefully into a smirk.

Spike released her quickly, letting her leg drop and her arms slide from his chest.

Watching him before he turned away, Buffy noticed his face was actually glowing. She could just tell her answer to him had some hidden interpretation that only he had the privilege of knowing…

And he sure as hell was pleased with it.

_Damn him _

The harsh light of day came from the window and washed over his face. Angel blinked twice and frowned.

"Damn it Dru! Close the fucking curtains."

"Oh sweet daddy, who injured you so?" she said astounded by the bumps and bruises on his face and on his naked chest.

Angel sat and cursed under his breath , gazing anywhere but her.

"The fucking bastard, he's gonna pay for this, he's going to regret the day-"

"Your rage is intoxicating my devilish Angel… it's about her isn't it?" she sat beside him.

"No, it's got nothing to do with her" he shrugged.

"It's him, Hank summers. All good and mighty Hank. She don't know his true nature.

She doesn't know what a coward he is, letting others fight his battles, sending his thugs to do his dirty work. You need to tell me everything Dru so we can destroy him and your William."

"I've already told you."

"No" he got closer to her. "I need proof, papers, something to bring to the local tabloids. Give me the proof there's something wrong in his heart."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? You said you saw it!"

"I did…in my mind."

tbc


	8. Chapter 8: Never leave me

Chapter 8: Never leave me

"What's with the gloating?

"You're not ready to know"

Gah! He was driving her insane. She'd tried to avoid him these last few days, but it was proving impossible. It felt like they were two ships in the night, sailing towards each other and not noticing they were on a collision course. And trying to prevent the inevitable was exhausting since every encounter they had left his mark, and Spike's elusive words echoed in her mind, over and over and over. It was a vicious circle, and he was a master of this stupid dance…

"Buffy"

"I'm working and you should be too. Don't use this delay as an excuse"

"Are you my trainer now?"

"I said I'm working, go away"

"Come on Summers, you know you wanna dance"

Buffy opened her eyes, she figured she'd be better off going to work than lying in bed, so she got up and started to dress. It was hopeless fighting it, she thought, because she'd woken up with the same feelings as the night before and thank God she didn't remember her dreams. Stupid dreams , they never reflected reality…

"A glitch…"

"...I wasn't thinking, I should have used better judgment, considering…"

It was just like a man to take her words and use them against her. Just like Spike, with his mixed signals and over defensiveness. Stupid English guy. Stupid, shirty, doopy, annoying, beautiful, gorgeous… gorgeous…

"Sweetie are you O.K?"

Buffy looked up and saw Hank standing in the middle of her room, she zipped her boot and stood up.

"I see you're dressed, so does that mean you're coming to work today?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just that you cut early yesterday and said you weren't feeling well so I thought-"

"I'm fine," she shrugged and walked past him.

"So…you seeing Ben tonight?" he said as they'd left the house.

"Might be."

"Good."

She knew he didn't like the idea of her spending time with Ben and somehow it didn't surprise her. The last time they'd met the circumstances weren't so pleasant, her mom was in a critical condition, and she'd made him feel he wasn't welcome, His sudden appearance in her life annoyed her. And playing the concerned father – it was just too little too late. Did seeing her find comfort in a stranger make him feel redundant in some way? Is that why he hadn't come to the funeral? Whatever, it didn't matter any more…

He was her dad, it was as simple as that.

She left the office about five in the afternoon, feeling a bit disappointed with her day and saying to herself it wasn't about him and so what if he wasn't in today. So what if he'd rather see his friend fight, than linger by her desk and shoot clever remarks at her. She was going to have a wonderful evening with Ben in the restaurant. He really was a nice guy and he knew her well. Knew what she was going through and all the things she'd been through.

Buffy sighed, put on her black dress and looked at herself in the mirror.

Gonna make the most of it…

"I always said Sunnydale was too small-town for you." Ben filled up her glass again.

"Oh yeah , like I'm doing so well here." She rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

"I don't think you're doing so bad. You're working and soon you'll have enough money to do whatever you want. You can always go to night school."

"Already got the reject mail."

"Okay, but hey, you're still a working girl and workers are the tools that shape America."

"That's me then, working gal" she raised her glass.

"Here's for us workers," he smirked as they drank. Ben put down his drink and looked at the woman in front of him. He couldn't help noticing that even though she was all smiles and laughs, she couldn't be more distracted.

"I ran into to your friend before I left, what's her name? The one with red hair."

"Willow." Buffy smiled a sad smile remembering her friend back home.

"She talked a lot, didn't really understand most of it."

Buffy chuckled. "Yep that's Willow."

"Seemed to be missing you."

"She said that?"

"Not in so many words, just had the same look as you did when I mentioned her name."

Buffy gazed down , thinking of all her friends she'd left back home and what they must think of her and her disappearance . She hadn't written back, or called. She really felt she was the worst friend in the world. If there was a "worst friend of the year" award, she'd sure earn it.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to upset you." Ben noticed her sudden glum mood.

"That's alr-"

She looked up and suddenly noticed a familiar figure standing few feet away behind their table, moving to the dark corner next to the bar.

"Can you excuse me for a moment?" She got up and Ben rose too.

"Buffy?" he said worried.

"I just need to freshen up, I won't be long."

"Okay." he relaxed and sat back down as she left.

Buffy took a few rushed steps toward the bar and towards the man sitting impassively playing with his lighter and gazing at her as she approached.

"What are you doing? And here?"

"What does it looks like?" he growled.

"It looks like you're stalking me" she stated.

"Don't flatter yourself luv."

"You shouldn't be drinking."

"Does it look like I'm drinking?" Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"So what is it?"

"I'm enjoying the atmosphere. You should go back to wonder boy there."

Buffy shrugged. She just stood there for a minute not looking at him and she didn't look mad anymore. She crossed her arms and stared into space.

"You alright pet?"

She gazed at him and saw him do that look again. That "I'm so understanding" look That "I can read your mind and you can't escape me even if you try" look.

"I'm fine." How many time do I need to use that phrase today?

"You don't look so fine, in fact you didn't seem to be enjoying yourself so much there either."

"What? Are you my happy guru now?"

"If that was the case luv I would…"

"Just go home Spike! And stop spying on me." She turned to leave but then he got up and glared at her with a look that sent shivers down her spine.

"You know what pet? I might just do that." He took a step, then lowered his head to whisper in her ear.

" I made a bet today. All odds were against Gunn, but I made it anyway in his favor. And the next time you and I have our little rough and tumble, you'll come to me."

Buffy felt his breath hot against her ear and she shook with anticipation at his words.

"Guess what?" he gazed into her eyes.

"He won."

Buffy was about to answer, but before she could even open her mouth he was already heading for the door.

"By the way" He turned to her as he walked away. "Love the dress".

And with that he disappeared into the night.

By the time Ben got Buffy to her door, she'd already planned the rest of her evening. First thing she'd do was take off this dress and shred it to little pieces, then she was going to take a hot bath. No, make that a shower, a cold one! After that, she'd search for Hank's sleeping pills because she knew he didn't keep booze in a house. Not anymore anyway. Damn him for sobering up!

"Too bad we had to make it so short." Ben gazed at her without seeming to notice her mind was somewhere else.

Hell he could be in anther dimension, is he still talking…?

"Anyway, I hope we can do this again sometime. Maybe this weekend? What do you say?"

"Maybe… I'll call you."

"Okay then." he leaned to kiss her.

Buffy quickly turned her cheek.

"Ok-ay" Ben sighed looking little confused.

"Bye," he said and Buffy nodded, smiling at him as he glanced at her for a last time before he left.

She took a key from her purse, put it into the lock and froze.

The hell with it…

She took it out and turned away.

"How are you feeling Charlie?" Spike muted the T.V. and put the receiver close to his ear as he sprawled across his couch.

"You owe me a Stereo, Spiky. I'm feeling damned great. My ribs are letting me know they're there, but apart form that…"

"That will pass in a couple of days. Mean-time, smile Charlie, you're a winner."

"Yeah… Not gonna steal my glory are you?"

"You'll bet your ass I will."

"Speaking of bets, how much did you make?"

Spike leaned back and sighed.

"Not nearly enough Charles…"

"What are you talking about!? I know you put a heavy bet on this one."

"Well," Spike stopped himself as he heard a knock on the door. "Wait a minute." He got up, still holding the phone to his ear.

"Spike, would you answer me?" Gunn said impatiently while his friend opened the door.

"Geez! can't you wait a bloody min-"

Spike stared at the woman in the doorway, feeling a bit speechless. He hadn't expected to see her again. And especially not like this, standing peacefully in his doorway.

"Drusilla?"

"Drusilla!?" He heard Gunn through the receiver.

"Call you later mate." He hung up.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in Spike?"

"No…now what do you want?" he said firmly.

"Wanted to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about Dru." He almost shut the door in her face.

"William." She held the door open and, she looked different somehow he thought, her face had a serious expression.

"Make it quick." he held onto the knob.

"I'm sorry, for everything. I know it doesn't make up for what I did, but I hoped you could forgive me."

"Why should I?"

"Everything happens for a reason my William, if life were easy there would be no point in living."

"Well that's very catchy."

"I do hope you get what you wish for. Some things don't happen right away. Sometimes you need to let go, but you already know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I do" Spike whispered

His face was blank, but somewhere she knew she'd got to him. And it was enough.

"Goodbye William." She gave a small smile and turned to leave.

"Goodbye Dru," he murmured and closed the door.

He stood by the door glaring at his crappy apartment, and thought about Dru's words. Whether they were sincere or not, didn't matter He would get his wish and if he didn't he'd never forgive her for the pain she'd caused him. He'd once thought she was his family and his home, but now his home was his own. But, for some reason he still felt as if he was waiting for someone to come for him, to save him? This is bloody stupid, he thought. He'd never wanted saving. Dru never saved him! She'd just introduced him with his true self. And his true self didn't wait for anyone anymore.

He opened the door, but didn't have a chance to do a thing, because he'd just got his wish… and she was furious.

"You know what?" Buffy stormed in.

"I really didn't want to come here." She started talking as if she had no control of the words coming out of her mouth. "I knew things would be difficult with dad and I thought probably being so close to my delinquent ex-boyfriend wasn't a good idea either."

She continue without noticing Spike's puzzled expression as he watched her pace back and forward in front of him.

"But I came here anyway, you know why?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. "I came because I thought I had an opportunity, I thought for once in my life I'd find a place where I could fit in . I thought I could find my fate and I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN FATE!"

"Buffy slow down-"

"No!" she kept going. "I thought I would have peace, but all I found was loneliness and old memories in the form of new ones. And then of course there was you, with your wishy-washy analysis and your "Spike to the rescue" act. Telling me that it wasn't all about me, saying I was selfish."

"I never said…"

"You told me I was strong and treated me as an equal, but then what? Suddenly you feel sorry for me? If that's what this is then I don't need your pity!"

"Buffy," he said warily and got closer to her, but she turned for the door. Spike moved quickly and caught her arm, turning her to face him and pressing her to the door. He put both hands on each said of her head as she gazed at him wrathfully.

"Listen to me and listen good," he said. "I will never feel sorry for you."

"Well thank you very much."

"Bloody hell summers! What do you want from me? Why did you come here?" Spike couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't help raising his voice.

"I came to tell you that I can't…" Buffy stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath. This is too hard.

"Can't what? Can't dye your hair brown, can't find a parking space, can't shag a worthless boxer?"

"CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU!"

She couldn't have used more powerful words, he thought. Or a better tone of voice to make him quiver. And she did.

She was looking down, panting lightly and cursing under her breath.

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

"Look at me." he ordered watching her lips moving without making a sound.

"Buffy," he cupped her chin with his hand." Look at me" his voice was softer this time.

She blinked and raised her head slowly.

Spike forgot what he was about to say. Her words were still fresh in his mind and now her big, innocent, green eyes were staring at him, all bright and glossy. Another minute of gazing at them and she would bring him to his knees.

Buffy didn't know what hit her. A warm feeling in her chest and her heart and she'd never been explored that way. The way you could be slowly stripped down from all the inhibitions you'd ever had. It was a gentle caress at first, but quickly grew to be the most passionate kiss she'd ever experienced.

She became limp in his arms, her hands coming up to rest on his chest and soon finding their way to the back of his neck as she deepened the kiss.

A few more seconds of bliss and then Spike stopped to breathe, resting his forehead on hers.

"I will never hurt you Buffy," he said panting, his eyes closed. Still feeling warm from the sensation of her embrace.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Spike," she said warily, her lips nudging his while speaking.

Spike opened his eyes slightly and held her gaze.

"I swear it Buffy, I'll never, I'd rather die fighting co-"

"Don't say it." She cut him off. "Don't use that word" she whispered.

"Oh luv" He hugged her tightly and she let her chin rest on the crock of his neck.

Spike stroked her back softly, caressed her and felt the tension slowly leaving her body.

After a moment Buffy looked up to meet his gaze. She watched his eyes closely, seeing nothing but caring, tenderness, desire and…

"Make love to me Spike."

"Buffy." He replied in a strangled voice, looking stunned.

Buffy suddenly felt ashamed, she took a step back, gazing at the floor.

"I'm sorry, I must be crazy" she muttered.

"God women! You're driving me crazy."

She glanced at him again and Spike closed the gap between them.

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into." He stood the way they were before, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"Give in to me luv, and I will never let you go."

"What makes you believe I'll do that." She smiled lightly, knowing that they were back to their snappy remarks routine.

"I don't believe in anything." He leaned down and picked her up to his arms. She let out a yelp of surprise.

"I like to look at the facts," he smirked and started walking to his bedroom, his eyes never leaving her face.

"What about fate Spike…do you believe in fate?" she whispered gazing at his shining eyes. Gorgeous no doubt …

Spike laid her on the bed gently, and gazed at her dazzling face. A trembling hand rose to move a lock of hair from her face.

"Yeah luv, I believe in fate."

Tbc


	9. Chapter 9: Here with me

Chapter 9: Here with me

He wasn't kidding about the "not letting go" part. As the night became darker he just held her tighter. He'd never felt anything more wonderful then her naked form in his arms, her golden heir spread across his chest. He inhaled her scent deeply and told her the most stupid things he never thought he'd ever tell anyone. Not dark secrets or life revealing details, no, nothing like that, just trivial things about himself, silly anecdotes that made her smile because he didn't see her smile a lot, so it just made him go on and on…until they both lost track of time. When it got to the point that Buffy looked at the clock they were just so far wrapped up in each other they knew neither of them could let go, not this night anyway, so Spike took her home and lingered some more at her door , making her laugh and then scowl at him for making the neighbors hear. and for making her worry that her dad might be still awake. Spike chuckled lightly as she became almost serious and told him that if he wouldn't let go of her she would find some powerful spell to keep him far away from her door and her life for good.

"Alright" he said, and let her go without even a goodnight kiss or one last persuasive glance.

It affected her so deeply that she just stormed to her room and crashed on the bed. Staring at the ceiling she considered dwelling on her well-familiar morbid thoughts,

But that plan came to end when he knocked on her window and came in from the fire escape.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty" she whispered in Spike's ear. Lying on her side, she gazed at him.

"Ummm…what time is it?" His face was still buried in the pillow as he spoke

"It's 6:30."

"You're evil." He faced her, his voice much clearer.

God, this was great. His eyes were dark and his lips swollen, and his hair all messy and curly. He looked adorable, like one of those cuddly bears, _a strong cuddly sexy bear…_. She thought.

"I get that a lot," she smiled and patted his head lightly. She hated herself for what she was about to do.

"You're all dressed," he pouted.

"You need to go…my dad will wake up soon."

"We have time." He got closer to her and started kissing her neck.

"No…we really don't," she mumbled - _why am I protesting?_

Spike rose up on his elbows and took the alarm clock that was next to her bed.

"What are doing?" She stared at him as he played with it.

"Giving us time," he smirked, resuming his kisses and putting the clock away.

"It doesn't work like that."

"It does in my world." He kissed feather-light kisses down her neck and moved on to her breasts.

"Y-your world is too simple." She started panting, at the feeling of his tongue circling her most sensitive parts.

"Are you saying my world is shallow?" he said with a leer.

"Stupid is more like it."

He raised his head. "Who are you calling stupid Summers?"

"You, you big goop," she teased.

"Oh you're in for it now pet." He started tickling her.

"Ho!, stop it…" she giggled and tried to escape, but he caught both her wrists and held them above her head with one hand while the other continued tickling her ribs.

She wriggled on the bed and tried to free herself from his grasp, but it was pointless, Spike had her pinned her to mattress with his weight on her body.

"Say you're sorry." He continue tickling her, a big smirk on his face.

"No," she said between giggles, panting hard.

"Stubborn bint." He moved his hand under her arms and tickled her there.

"Ah!" Buffy laughed, shifted and twitched under his hands , she had no plan of giving up.

Spike chuckled. He knew he should stop, but he really didn't want to, she was glowing, her face was all shiny and he couldn't get enough of the feeling of her body struggling beneath him.

Buffy let out a gasp and Spike loosened his grip a bit to gaze at her face.

"Sorry luv…wasn't planning on hurting you…_much_" he grinned.

"Please…" Buffy snorted still laughing lightly. "You haven't even come close to hurting me." She glared at his face and panted.

"Oh yeah." He resumed tickling her and she writhed.

"Not afraid you'll give big bad a chance?"

"BIG BAD," she mocked and wriggled which only made Spike increased his tickling.

"Not afraid I'm gonna- Christ!

Spike held his breath, gazing at Buffy's shining eyes.

"You were saying?" she teased and tightened her grip on his shaft.

"Buffy" he murmured and closed his eyes.

"You right about the big part, I'm not sure about the bad part," she smiled.

"Who are you really Spike?"

"Right now?" he groaned and opened his deep blue eyes to gaze at her.

"Right now I'm your willing slave." He leaned to kiss her.

"Buffy?" Hank's voice came from behind the door.

_Not again! _They both froze, looking at each other.

"Quick!" Buffy got up from the bed "Get in the closet!"

"In the closet?!" Spike protested quietly, raising a brow.

"Now!" she pushed him from the bed and closed the closet door behind her after giving him a little shove.

"Come in dad." She hastily picked up the empty condom wrapper and hopped back into her bed.

Hank entered, his eyes wandering around the room and then at Buffy's lamb-like face.

"How was your night hun?"

"Okay." Buffy gave him a tiny smile.

"Didn't hear you come in."

"I came in pretty late."

"Yeah I figured." Hank stared at her. She looked different somehow, he thought. Different in a way he hoped he would witness again.

"AA meeting was pretty boring yesterday…came back exhausted from boredom…. so I probably wouldn't have heard you anyway…" He smiled.

"Ha-ha." She gazed at him, trying to keep her eyes from the closet.

"O.k. hun" he turned to the door "I'll make us some breakfast."

"Great." She smiled at him again as he glanced in her direction.

"Umm hun…" he held the door's knob.

"I never thought I'd say this but…tell Spike to come out of the closet."

Buffy was stunned _again_… she opened her mouth and closed it, each time taking a deep breath, not sure what to say so she began to mumble.

"B-B-but I was all covered and everything…an-and… _you_ should have been all passed out with the boredom and stuff…how did yo-"

"Keep the volume down next time." He smiled and went out the door.

_"And tell Spike to come out for breakfast."_ she heard him yell.

Buffy got up quickly from her bed and opened the closet door to find Spike standing completely oblivious to her presence, surrounded by her clothes and holding a few items in his hands.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" she scolded playfully

Spike gazed at her as if he'd just noticed she was there and held an item in front of her face.

"Can I use your black nail polish?"

Breakfast went better then she thought it would. There were a few awkward moments when Hank caught them staring at each other and, at times, it felt like he was watching their every move.

It made her nervous, but Spike seemed to enjoy it, in some juvenile way, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, Or like he and her father had some secret code and eating breakfast together was Hank's way of telling him that things were okay. Sitting around the table it really felt much like it, like they were a family, albeit a very unusual family. A recovered alcoholic. His daughter the ex-student who was now supposed to be…_what?_ And her new boyfriend, the one that got her dad back on his feet. A boxer with a poet's heart. He really was unusual…_special_…and did she just refer to him as her_ boyfriend_? Buffy gazed at Spike who was talking with Hank.

Later, as the three of them arrived at Hank's office they sat and began planning their day and it felt like forever since he'd last looked at her.

"…No drinking, no smoking, no fried, no salt, no sweets, not the little onions things you like-"

"What's wrong with onions?"

"Do I really need to say this?" Hank scolded.

Spike caved and sat in his place.

"And no sex," Hank added with leer. He couldn't help sending Buffy a brief glance.

Buffy's cheeks grew red and Spike raised a brow at Hank.

"You're kidding right?"

"Not before the fight." Hank came from behind the desk and headed to the door.

"So that is your evil plan?" Spike smirked behind him.

Hank took a quick look at him and opened the door. "I work in mysterious ways."

As soon as Hank closed the door Buffy snapped. "This is too weird!"

"What's that pet?" Spike gazed at her.

"He's too okay with this." She glared at the door and then stared at him.

"Oh… what's the matter baby?" Spike approached from across the room and sat on Buffy's desk. "Did you want it to be like in those romantic novels?... where I sweep you off your feet and we sneak out because daddy doesn't approve 'cause I'm the wrong side of the track kidna guy who's gonna do all short of nasty things to you?" His eyes started to glitter as he continued with a low voice. "Make you join me on the dark side where I think you belong, away from the sad bleak world you know? You'll leave your noble morals behind you and let me please you for eternity." He leaned towards her, saying the last words to her face.

Buffy gazed at him and seemed to be thinking about his words.

"Yep, that could be nice."

Spike smirked.

"Come here." He took her hand and pulled her off the chair, sitting her on his lap. Buffy looked at him, amused.

"You know…" he nuzzled at her neck and then looked up at her. "We can still do the sneaking part."

"We can?" She curved her neck towards him and pouted.

Spike smiled and got her on her feet. Taking her hand he led her out of the office without saying a word.

"Good Gracious Gunn! What are you doing here?" Hank looked at the bruised young man who came through the gym's door.

"I guess I missed you Hank," he smirked.

"I highly doubt that." Hank smiled and approached him.

"Shouldn't you be with you sister? Letting her take care of you?"

"Take care of me? That's a joke," Gunn said with a bitter smile. "To tell you the truth Hank, I don't know where my sis hanging these days."

"Come on to my office." Hank put his hand on Gunn's shoulder. "Tell me all about it."

"No, I have something more important to tell you, that's why I'm here." He stood still and gazed at Hank with a frown on his face.

"Well, what is it?"

"I've Been over at Willy's , heard a couple of guys talking, they said Combs has been arrested."

"Arrested?"

"Apparently he beat up some guy in a dark ally. The police spotted him, they've been kinda waiting for something like that."

"Yeah." Hank sighed and gazed around the room.

"But I think the fight is still on."

"How come?" Hank looked at him, surprised.

"The guy that got beat up, well he kinda fled the scene, they didn't find him. And since then no one's pressed charges…"

"Alright…" Hank clapped his hands together. "So the fight is still on."

Hank turn to go to his office when Gunn stopped him.

"Hank" he gave him a worried stare.

"Relax Gunn… come to my office. Let's talk about you sister, it's much more important."

And with that he turned and made Gunn follow.

"Mmm…" Buffy arched her back, her mind was in a cloud. Twisting her neck, she opened her eyes and blinked, amazed by the intensity of two blue orbs staring at her.

"Liked that pet?"

"Huh-ha" she tried to form more words, but just mumbled as she leaned back to his chest.

"Good cause there are more wonderful things that Spike's hands can do for you," he whisper in her ear. "Back rubs aside."

"Here, on the bench? I don't think so."

"Alright then…let's go to my place."

"Aren't you the greedy one?" she turned to look at him.

"Can't help it luv, you bring out the worst in me," he whispered to her lips, giving them a quick peck.

"Didn't you get enough last night?" Buffy nuzzled his neck.

"No," he stated simply and then a smirk formed on his lips when he saw her scoff.

Buffy quickly turned around and straddled him, her legs coming around his waist keeping him in place.

"What are you-?"

Buffy's hands came to the buttons of his jeans. Tugging on them she met his gaze. "If you can do it in a public place, so can I."

"Trying to prove your perverseness is up to my standards pet? I think it's a bet you're gonna lose."

"Damn you," she held her hand back, and gazed at him from a slight distance.

"You can't do it can you?" he smirked.

Buffy just gazed at Spike blankly for a second, making him think that she might stand up and leave any minute but then threw herself at him.

"Umm..Buf," Spike mumbled against her mouth and put his arms around her, holding her close to his body.

Buffy gave it all she had. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and deepened the kiss, making Spike body vibrate from the heat she created. She moved her hand up his arms, to his shoulders and brushed her fingers in his hair when she held his head trying to control the rhythm of his movement, but he didn't let her, and she realized again that Spike's passions was something she couldn't control, nor did she want to.

Taking over, Spike rose from the bench, pulling Buffy who was wrapped around his waist with him.

"Mmm…" Buffy broke the kiss. "Where are you taking me?"

"Storeroom," he said almost as a question and resumed kissing her.

"Okay…." She mumbled to his mouth.

All he wanted right now was too take a vacation, some place far away, where no one could ever find him or reach him. He should never come to L.A. Should have stayed in Sunnydale. He was someone there and at least there he got some respect and people feared him. Here…

"Another one!" he shouted at the bartender.

"Don't you think you've had enough-?"

"Another one!" he sent him a glare.

The bartender shook his head and poured him anther drink, which he drank in one shot.

"Seeking the stars my Angel?"

He recognized the voice, but just kept his eyes on the bar.

"Are you still cross with me?" Drusilla sat beside him, meeting his angry stare.

"You belong in a mental institute Dru."

"Daddy already locked his little girl at the attic…" her gaze wandered to the mirror behind the bar "Took her favorite toys away…" she pouted.

"My point exactly" he searched for the bartender again.

"I have news you might want to hear…" She gazed at him suddenly.

"What?... another vision" he scoffed and glared at her.

"A vision I saw with my bare eyes." She waited to get his full attention.

"Your ball of sunshine paying my William a visit….they're lovers, there's no doubt in my mind."

"Well, I have plenty of doubts about your mind Dru…" he said and then paused thinking about her words.

Drusilla watched him as he rose from his chair and took a bill from his pocket. Putting it on the counter, he gazed at her.

"But if what you say is true…it changes everything."

With a smirk forming on his face he turned for the exit.

"Ahh Spike," she was panting hard, legs wrapped around him, feeling the length of him slip inside of her , letting the burning sensation fade slowly as she come to her senses.

Spike held her tightly, still pressing her against the wall of the storeroom, he buried his face to her neck murmuring her name.

Letting her legs fall down she felt his hold of her loosen. She shivered from the loss of contact and gazed at his face.

"We should probably head back," she whispered.

"Yeah," he said, but still didn't make a move and watching her closely with a little smile on his face. Not the usual smirk she'd got use to. Just a happy smug-free smile.

They straightened up their clothes quickly, trying to avoid each other gaze, knowing that if they didn't, they would never leave this room.

A few steps before they got to Hank's office door, they slowed down, hearing two familiar voices argue.

"He's a killer Hank!"

"Nothing has been proven."

"He's dangerous and you know it…and Spike knows it two, but you should have explained to him-"

"Explain what Charles? Spike wants to do it, he want to take off this guy, and he has a good reason. This guy holds a title he doesn't deserve."

"It's suicide," Gunn muttered.

"You know Spike, he always says he's got nothing to lose." Hank sighed "and who am I to tell him otherwise...I used to feel the same way…"

Spike turned to look at Buffy who was deeply involved with the conversation in the next room.

"Come on luv," he grabbed her arm, but she brushed him off, staring at him blankly.

"Luv-" he took a step forward.

"Don't" she flinched.

Buffy paused and then gazed at his eyes.

"Do you still feel that way?" she asked warily.

"Like what?" he know what she was talking about, but wished he didn't have to explain himself.

"Feel like playing against the odds! Feel like it doesn't matter if you die or live" she said angrily.

"Well a very wise man once said live fast, die young-"

"Don't joke!" she raised her voice and stared at him, but before he could react, she turned to leave.

"Buffy." He followed her quickly.

"Just leave me alone Spike," she said without looking at him, quickening her steps.

"I need to think," she said and shut the gym door behind her.

Gazing at the door shutting in front of him, Spike sighed

_Bloody hell…_

Tbc


	10. Chapter 10: Two ends to every rainbow

Chapter 10: Two ends to every rainbow

"Okay, you can take a break now Spike."

"Thank God." Spike rose from the floor panting from finishing his push-up's.

"Where are you going?" Hank asked seeing him leave in a hurry.

"Umm- I'm just going to that place you know-"

"Going to see Buffy?" Hank cut through his rambling.

"Yeah." Spike turned to leave, but Hank stood in his way.

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no…w-why would you think that?"

"You just weren't concentrating today. Where did Buffy go?"

"Home," Spike answered without thinking.

"I see." Hank moved out of his way.

Spike moved quickly not wanting to give him anther chance to question him.

"Spike," he heard Hank calling behind him as he was about to walk trough the gym's door.

Hank gazed at him.

"I'm counting on you," he said calmly and added "don't let me down."

"Yeah." Spike glanced at him and left.

With Hank's words in his mind Spike realized, somewhere along the way that things had changed. It wasn't about the fight anymore, it wasn't about the title or the trophy.

For both of them, it all became about Buffy.

_Bugger!_ Spike stood on the street outside of Hank's apartment. "Where could she be?" he thought. He looked down the deserted street. She wasn't home, and he had no clue where else to look. His mind started racing, thinking of possible scenarios given her state of mind. Where she could be and who she could be with…_no,no,no…no way…_

Starting to walk aimlessly, he raised his head as a couple of kids ran past him to the park. And then he spotted her, sitting on the bench, gazing blankly at the kids playing in the sand box. He watched her and approached slowly, knowing she had seen him the minute he made his move.

_Playing it tough pet?_

He stood by the bench gazing at her, watching her cold expression.

"How come I always have to chase you?"

"It seems like the natural order of things I guess," she replied, still looking into space.

"So, you always ditch a guy after shagging his brains out in the storeroom?"

He watched her face closely as he sat beside her.

"No actually…usually it's the other way around…" she muttered acridly.

"My, my Miss Summers, how many storeroom after-hours snogs have you had?"

Spike raised a brow playfully, but added quickly, "you better say just the one."

Buffy gazed at him and couldn't help smiling at his statement.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Spike-" Buffy broke the silence.

"Don't-" Spike knelt before her watching her face soften.

"Don't bail on me now Summers, there are still many pages that need to be written about this steamy affair…we're just at beginning luv," he smirked.

"Are we?" she scoffed playfully.

"Sure…and I'm not just saying it… there are rules to those fluffy romantic novels."

"What kind of rules?" she asked intrigued by his playfulness.

"Well at first, as you must know there's the introduction . " He took her hand and put his fingers between hers. "Two strangers live their separate lives, each of them miserable and alone, knowing nothing about the other…that's of course until fate intervenes…"

Spike looked at their joined hands and continued. "Then begins the conflict, both hero and heroine trying to accept each other's presence in their lives while fighting to achieve their individual goals..."

Buffy wanted to say something, but didn't stop him talking.

"But the conflict untangles as both of them realize they're fighting for the same cause…losing themselves in a moment of climaxwhich in our case I hope will be followed by many others-"

Buffy snorted in response.

"You're deranged."

"That's no news luv," he grinned.

Buffy's face turned serious. "Who's writing this story?"

"We are Buffy, we create our own destiny."

"And that destiny includes you dying fighting Combs?"

"No…because I'm going to win…and you are going be right there with me."

"I'm not going to watch you kill yourself," she murmured gazing away.

"What are you saying Buffy?" Spike look up at her, bemused.

"Spike-" she watched his face growing hard.

"Are you saying you're not coming to the fight?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"I can't-"

Spike rose quickly, glancing away he brushed his hair back with his hand,

paused for a moment and then turned to her with a puzzled expression.

She couldn't figure.

"Alright, that's fine Summers, do what you want," he said calmly and added "hey…maybe you could spend a quiet night with the doctor watching the telly."

"You're mad" she stated.

"No I'm not mad, what makes you think that?"

"You doing that clenching teeth thing and you bounce when you talk."

"I do _not _bounce." Spike frowned.

"Like a school girl."

"Whatever." He turned to leave.

"Hey!" She stood before him, watching his face "I'm sorry"

Spike gazed at her for a moment and moved closer.

"Don't worry about it." He cupped her cheek, gazing at her melting into his touch, but couldn't help feeling completely at her mercy._ Such a fool_… he thought.

"I need to go back, Hank's waiting…see you later?" He dropped his hand, taking a step back.

"O-okay" Buffy mumbled.

But before she could say a word Spike walked past her, leaving her standing alone washed by a feeling of uncertainty.

What was she doing? Why was she lying in her bed in the middle of the day, reflecting on the last 24 hours? Was it really so important to her? Was it so important to Spike? Did the two of them need to spend this time apart, all because of a stupid argument? Not even an argument. Had she found Spike's soft spot or was it all about the fight?

A tiny part of her couldn't help the feeling that maybe, just maybe, she'd made a mistake. She was sick of all the hurt and pain that always seem to be around her, following her. She now realized that her misery wasn't rooted in Sunnydale, or any other place else for that matter. It was her, she was doomed, doomed to bring bad luck to every one around her, that's why she didn't want to go to the fight. If she wasn't there, it would be better. She held that thought and got out of bed, opened her closet and looked at the bag she'd come with from Sunnydale. _No_. She closed the door and just as she was about to open it again she heard a knock .

"Angel" she said beyond surprised.

"Hello Buffy," he said calmly. "Can I come in?"

"No," she replied harshly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologise."

"Oh yeah, about what?" she raised a brow.

"Can I come in Buffy, just for a second?"

"Fine," she sighed and opened the door to him.

"I was misled Buffy," I shouldn't have believed my sources about Spike's condition."

"That's a little convenient now." She crossed her arms.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Is that all? 'cause I really don't feel like talking right now."

"What's wrong?" Angel got closer to her.

"Nothing that concerns you." She gave him a cold stare.

"Come on Buffy, you use to tell me everything."

"Past tense that is- "use to."

"Alright." Angel took a step back. "Anyway I just thought you should know I'm sorry

it was stupid really…" he added casually, "I guess that's what happens when you rely on boxers crazy ex-girlfriends."

"What are you talking about?"

"Drusilla, Spike's ex, she's the one who told me he has a heart problem. I guess she just wanted revenge or something, but since they've sorted things out…"

"I see." Buffy bit her lip and gazed down.

"Yep." Angel turned to the door. "Anyway Buff, I hope you'll forgive me." He put his hand on the knob. "And you know I'm always here for you."

Buffy continued nodding unable to believe her ears as Angel walked through the door.

"Help me out Spikey."

"I bought you the damn thing, you can fix it yourself." Spike looked at his friend who was trying to plug in the cd-player.

"What's with the attitude?" Gunn gazed at him. "First you hang up on me to talk with Dru, then Hank tells me you're out for the smooches with Buffy, and now you bring me a gift. And you're mad at me?"

"I have PMS."

"Where's Buffy?"

"That's the question of the day," Spike muttered bitterly.

"Had a quarrel already, you guys are fast."

"Had something…don't know what it was." Looking up Spike sighed. "God, Gunn she's driving me crazy."

"More than Dru?"

"No, no she's nothing like Dru….She…she makes me..." Spike paused, gazing blankly into space.

"Makes you what?" Gunn approached him.

Spike looked at his friend, not sure what he was going to say.

"Forget it." Spike shook his head.

"Ho… come on, big bad." Gunn grinned. "Starting to be all sensitive are you?"

"Not bloody likely" Spike groused.

"Please…that girl's had you wrapped around her little finger since the day you met."

Spike walked past him and took the cd-player directions in his hand.

"If you ask me, I think you guys are made for each other; have the same temper, same morbid quality.

"Well, no one asked you Charlie." Spike still looked hard at the directions. "And since when are you the man with the big words?"

"Got me a personality modification."

"Yeah great, stop it…what the bloody hell is this!" Suddenly Spike snapped.

"What? The directions" Gunn got closer to look over his shoulder.

"It's…what is that?" Spike moved it closer to his face.

"Chinese." Gunn pointed out.

"Well sorry mate, I don't know any bloody Chinese."

"That's why there's an English version on the back."

"Oh."

"Let's hope if you ever plan any kids with Buffy, they get her brains."

Spike frowned, glaring at his friend.

"Yeah you're right, it doesn't matter either way." Gunn smirked and walked away.

_Perfect match_

Hank sat in his office. He couldn't believe this was happening. Get a grip he told himself, the fight is in two days, can't do anything to mess that up, but Spike? As much as their relationship was solid , he know he couldn't control him, not when he set his mind to something, and who knew where his mind was these days? Who knew how he was going to react to this news.

"Someone died?" Spike stood by the door and watched Hank's hard expression.

"Please tell me it isn't Combs." He entered the office. "I still need to put the wanker to sleep day after tomorrow."

"Spike." Hank sighed glancing at the phone he'd not so long ago hung up.

"What is it?" _More bloody news , anther heart problem, Combs is gay, one of the Olsen twins got pregnant?…_

"Buffy left."

"Huh?"

"Buffy, she went back to Sunnydale-"

Spike turned for the door before Hank could finish his sentence.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Hank got up from his chair and stopped him.

"I'm going to drag your crazy daughter back home, and make her deal with reality, Where is she? The bus station? When did she leave?"

"Spike relax, it's just for a few days she'll be at her friend Willow's."

Spike put his fingers on his temples as if he was in agony.

"She told me she needed a break, I guessed it had something to do with the fight

… I know she's a little difficult sometimes."

"_Sometimes_!" Spike snapped "she's been a pain in my arse since the day she arrived!"

Hank watched the vein on the young man temple grow bigger but still couldn't help but smile.

"You really like her."

"Could I be more bloody obvious?" He said in a more mellow tone, gazing down.

"She'll be back soon Spike." Hank tried to hold his gaze. "Meantime I don't want you to do anything stupid alright? Fight less then 48 hours, I need you prepared."

"Alright," Spike replied pliantly and opened the door. "I won't let you down Hank." He glanced in Hank's direction but didn't wait for his response, he just closed the door behind him, and walked out of the gym feeling the need to get as far as possible.

_Did you want it to be like in those romantic novels?... where I sweep you off your feet and we sneak out because daddy doesn't approve 'cause I'm the wrong side of the track kidna guy who's gonna do all sort of nasty things to you?_..._Make you join me on the dark side where I think you belong, away from the sad bleak world you know? You'll leave your noble morals behind you and let me please you for eternity…_

"Or you could just leave town." Spike lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

TBC

_A/N- Hi guys, thanks for the lovely reviews, ch.8 was uploaded incorrectly (oops) I apologize for the mistake, it will be fixed, hope you keep enjoying reading ;) _


	11. Chapter 11: Home

A/N- Hi there, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the bad editing, I really can't get it right here :pout: so if it really bothers you, you can read the rest of the story at my site, again sorry , hope you enjoy reading and take deep breaths between sentences ;)

Chapter 11: Home

_"There was a boy at the orphanage named Henri, bloody wanker he was , large bloke too, always use to beat me up after lunch, him and his pals, Always ganged up on me in some dark corner."_

_"Why?" she ran her finger along his naked chest._

_"Dunno, maybe because I was short for my age, maybe because I wrote awful poetry, they really got their kicks from that one."_

_"Poor William." She smoothed the hair above his ear and nuzzled at his neck._

_"Don't feel sorry for William luv, he got over that pretty fast," he whispered._

_"When he discovered Spike?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"And Drusilla?" she asked_ _dazedly. _

_"She's in the past pet, all there is now is Spike. Spike who's going to hold you in his arms forever." He tightened his arms around her body and kissed her temple._

"B-Buffy?"

"Huh?"

"Made you some tea." Willow put the glass on the table and sat beside her friend on the couch.

"Thanks Willow." Buffy gazed at her.

"What were you thinking about?"

"How are things between you and Oz?" she asked evasively.

"Somehow I don't think that was it." Willow smiled and paused wondering about her friend's gloomy mood.

"What is it Buffy? I'm worried about you. I thought things were going well for you in L.A."

"They were…I mean they are." She sighed and looked around her friend's house. "So, who bought the house?"

"This one…it's on rent, you know I can't afford-"

"No…I-I meant the house on Revello," Buffy stuttered.

"Oh…I really don't know, but hey, we can check if you like-"

"No!, t-that's okay, better not to know anyway."

"It was your home Buffy, you have every right to-"

"Can we not talk about it?" Buffy got up from the couch and started to pace.

"Sure, whatever you want." Willow crossed her arms and gazed down.

"I'm sorry Will." Buffy walked across the room and sat beside her.

"I've being such a terrible friend, and yet you invite me to your home."

"And made you tea." Willow pouted gazing at her.

"And made me tea." Buffy smiled.

"It's about a guy isn't it?" Willow stated holding her gaze.

"What?" Buffy said, taken aback.

"I know you Buffy, you always said you wanted to get away from Sunnydale, and when you did I was sure you'd be happy. The only reason you're here, is because it's familiar territory isn't it? Something didn't go your way, right?"

"Make me sound bitchy much?"

"What was it?" Willow said with an inquiring stare.

"A guy." Buffy mumbled, embarrassed at how her friend could read her so well.

"Is he cute?" Willow wiggled an eyebrow.

"He's spiteful, stubborn, arrogant and obscene; he can act like a hyper 11 year old with the innocence that comes with it one moment and wrangle like a thug the other-"

Buffy gazed at her friend and continued ardently. "He's devoted his whole life to being invincible, but instead of treating his body like a temple, he uses it as an ash-tray!"

Willow stared at her friend for a moment.

"Yeah…um, is he cute?"

"Wake up!" Gunn yelled in his friend's ear.

"Bloody hell!" Spike raised his head and blinked.

"You sure look like it."

"Thanks…now bugger off." He buried his face in the pillow.

"What are you doing sleeping in the middle of the day?"

"Don't have anything better to do." Spike mumbled.

"Yes you do, get up and get dressed, we're going out."

"What are you, my bloody girlfriend?" Spike groused.

"Fine, you know what, I don't know why bother" Gunn turned to leave.

"Alright…" Spike got up and started picking up his clothes from the floor while cursing under his breath.

"Good" Gunn said glaring at the mess in his room, I'll wait for you outside.

Willy's place was almost empty except for a few people that were sitting at the bar, and they all seemed occupied with watching the t.v in front of them.

"There's a game on," Gunn explained to his angry friend.

"We could have watched the bloody game at my house." Spike glared at him as they approached the bar.

"Please….and enjoy Spike-stench?, your place really needs a woman's touch."

"Like yours is any better-"

They both stopped as they heard two men sitting before them, talking.

"Imbecile…like all boxers are…I was doing him a favor and what did he do? He beat me up."

"It sounds like Combs wants to finished that Spike guy pretty bad, is he a threat? " the bartender said, joining in.

"Please…he wouldn't last in the ring for two seconds…I could finish him off myself."

"You would have liked that?" the bartender chuckled. "Huh Angel?"

"Angel?" Spike mumbled and saw the man turn to meet his gaze.

"Yes," Angel responded, but before he could figure who was standing before him, he felt a sharp pain as something hit his nose.

"Spike!" Gunn yelped and pushed his friend back to stop him from hitting Angel again.

"Fuck!" Angel got up from the floor. "You almost broke my nose, you idiot."

"I should have done much worse, you pillock" Spike narrowed his eyes at him.

Angel glared at him at the him for a minute, then came back to his senses.

"Spike is it? He said looking him up and down with a smirk.

"This is how you thank the man who tried to save you life?"

"More like tried to ruin my career." Spike tried to move towards him, but Gunn stopped him again, standing before him.

"Yeah… I guess you would see it like that." Angel's smile grew bigger and he leaned back on the counter.

"Let's go Spike… he isn't worth it." Gunn tried to calm down his friend.

"Yeah _Spike_…. save your strength, you're going to need it tomorrow." Angel said scornfully.

"You're next on the list."

"Maybe in the after life, but I get the feeling you'll be waiting a while. By the way , how's Buffy?"

"Don't you dare say her name."

"God….aren't we touchy….you know I really shouldn't have broken up with her, she became a hell of a woman. Saw her yesterday, did she tell you?"

"Come near her and I…"

"What? Ask your friend to come and restrain you?"

"I'll make you regret _you_ don't have a heart problem."

The two exchanged stares, while the few guys by the bar watched them attentively.

"Come on Spike." Gunn pulled him by the arm and dragged him out of the pub.

"What the hell was that? The last thing you need is a bar fight."

"You don't know what I need." Spike paced and gazed back through the pub door.

"Look I understand that you're pissed."

Spike snorted "I wish."

"I meant upset," Gunn corrected and sighed, wondering how to get through to Spike.

"You always find yourself in situations like this; you never stop to think what you're getting yourself into."

_"I don't think you know what you getting yourself into…_

_Give in to me luv…and I will never let you go."_

"Spike… Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"What's wrong with you? Where are your priorities?"

"I know, you're right…I think I'll go home," Spike muttered not looking at his friend and turning to leave.

"So you just left, without talking to him about it?" Willow gave Buffy a long quizzical stare. As they both sat at the bench in her back yard.

"I needed some space." Buffy shrugged.

"You ran away."

Buffy stopped to think about her friend words.

"Buffy?" Willow held her gaze. "Did you believe what Angel said?"

"Of course not," she said quietly and shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"So why did you leave?"

"I told you…I don't want to watch him fight. I-I think it's dangerous," she stuttered.

_God that's sounds so lame _Buffy thought to herself.

"Well you could just be there and stay home." Willow rolled her eyes, but then carefully watched her friend's sulky face.

"Buffy…He's a boxer, you knew that. Now, what this is really about?"

"He's going to die." Buffy stated firmly.

"What?" Willow glanced at her, puzzled.

"Everyone around me either dies, is miserable or turned evil."

"Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

"Well it's how It feels."

"Okay then, in which category do I fit in?"

Buffy gazed at her friend warily.

"Buffy…I know you've been through a lot. After last year you have every right to feel a little shaken, that's why what I'm going to say to you might sound a little harsh, but I'm going to say it anyway. Snap out of it!

"Excuse me?"

"You're feeling sorry for yourself."

"I am not."

"Yes you are…and because you're not the only one who's in control anymore…what do you do? You taking it back by leaving?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"This Spike guy you've been slandering for the last half hour, he must have some nice qualities too, right?"

"Sure."

"What are they?"

"Well I don't know. I mean, he's Spike, he's special, he cares about me a lot even though I haven't given him much reason to…if anything he should have hated my guts by now."

"Why?-what did you do?" Willow asked calmly.

"I told him to stay out of my business, kicked him in the crotch, almost broke his nose…then we actually got along… that is, until I told everybody he had a heart problem and almost ruined his career"

"Trying to keep busy?" Willow asked with a glint in her eye.

"L.A is pretty boring" Buffy stated.

"Dull…dull as the grass on Hyde park, with his hair sticking up and his namby pamby face. Bloody wanker….how-how could she been with a git like that?"

Spike emptied his glass, put it on the bar and gazed at the old man in front of him. "She's crazy you know, not as crazy as my last girlfriend, I'll tell you that…but still a nutcase with a tragic taste in men…I mean one minute she's with a ponce who treats her like trash and the next she find anther poofter who's supposedly saves lives…." Spike paused for a minute and said slowly "Makes me wonder, you know… why she'd ever fancy a bloke like me?"

"Who are you?" The old man asked.

"Exactly… Who am I...I don't know who I am anymore!"

The old man shook his head and turned away.

"There you are!" Gunn stood beside him , panting slightly.

"Charlie!" Spike yelled " Hey look everyone it's Charlie" Spike got up from his chair quickly only to fall in the man's arms, giggling.

"Thanks Charlie boy." Spike stood leaning on his arm. "Where have you been? it's been almost two hours."

"Well I never would have left your side if I'd known you need a sitter. Didn't you say you were heading home?"

"I-I've changed my mind."

"I can see that, let's sober you up. Hank has been looking for you." Gunn put his hand on his friend's shoulder and helped him get outside.

"Hank's mad?" Spike asked.

"Let just say you'll be lucky if you live to see Combs tomorrow."

"Yeah lucky," Spike mumbled.

_"You're lucky you haven't had your eye poked out by now." She ran her finger along the scar of his eyebrow, as if she was reading Braille, her hands caressing his cheeks._

_"What are you doing luv?" _

_"I just love looking at you," Buffy said watching his face._

_"I love looking at you too," he murmured._

_"It's late." Buffy sighed resting her forehead on his. "We've been talking all night. Well, most of the night" she corrected and smiled._

_"Never done something like this before," she then added quietly._

_"Me neither…tired pet?"_

_"Mm-mmm," she mumbled closing her eyes and melting in his embrace, but then she opened her eyes and gazed at him wearily._

_"You think we covered everything?"_

_"I think we left out a thing or two we still don't know about each other" he chuckled lightly, "but it can wait until tomorrow yeah?"_

_"K" Buffy rested her sleepy head on his chest._

_Spike shook his head, a smile curled on his lips as he dozed off. _

Tbc


	12. Chapter 12: You could make a killing

Chapter 12: You could make a killing

So strange, how he'd slipped into her heart without letting her know. He was a clever man her Spike, using clever words, but also who knew when to stop, let them sink in and take their course. Making her believe it was all just fun and games, but in the meantime staking his claim to her soul, entering her thoughts, burning himself into her mind. Knowing that when he got what he was after, her heart would never rest, would always want him close.

She was becoming addicted to his presence, and with every minute it became harder to let him go.

Could that be how he felt the about boxing, about fighting? What made him believe he was going to win if fate wasn't on his side?

_"I like to look at the facts" _

Stupid blond guy…

The hall was crowded and smoky, as to be expected and the noise echoed in his ears like never before. Although every yell, every cheer, became dim compared to the sharp pain in the back of his skull, but that wasn't the only pain he felt. Every inch of his body ached. He use to be indifferent to any sort of physical pain, but now…he just wanted the flaming waves to stop, he just wanted to let his body rest, maybe because somewhere in the back of his mind he believed he had already found peace.

_"Yeah luv…I believe in fate_"

Stupid words, _just words they were_. He took a deep breath and gazed at his rival sitting across the ring…_like the poems I used to write_, he said to himself. Actions spoke louder then words, and in life, every time he needed to be heard his fists never let him down, they talked loud and clear. On the other hand his words always were something to be mocked.

"Spike…Spike you hearing me?" Hank waved in front of him, while splashing drops of water over his face, talking as loudly as possible.

"You're doing fine, son….keep your pecker up."

Spike seemed to regain focus and gave Hank a puzzled glare.

"What?" Hank frowned. "Heard you say it to Gunn"

"I was referring to something entirely different." Spike smiled lightly and glanced down.

"Yeah….I don't think Combs would appreciate that." Hank put his hand on his shoulder as both of them laughed, breaking the tension.

"One more round, you're doing just fine." Hank's tone turned serious.

"How bad do I look?" Spike asked while taking a sip from his water.

"Let's just say you're better off without a mirror."

The bell rang and they both glanced at each other. Spike got up ready for action, taking wary steps to the center of the ring.

"Keep your chin up Spike."

Spike heard Hank's yell through the voices of the crowd, but he didn't glance back, all that was important was the man in front of him, the man he was going to fight, the man he was going to defeat even if it cost him a head injury. Or even his life. Nothing was more important.

"How do you like the taste of blood Spike?" Combs asked as they circled the ring, watching each other movements.

"Suits me just fine," Spike muttered.

"Good." Combs lashed out at him, sending him a few swings, not giving him a chance to escape, he finally made contact with his face.

Spike fell back, but managed to keep his balance. Still on his feet he ducked Combs' attempt to punch him again.

The hall filled with loud voices, yelling _"come on, hit him"…"knock him down"…"what the fuck are you waiting for?,_ But just one word echoed in his mind - _kill, kill, kill_. He knew they wanted blood, they wanted more of his blood, Combs had already taken some pretty bad shots at him in the last round, and he was determined not to let it happen again.

He ducked Combs again quickly and started punching him, thanking his luck he was faster and smaller then his heavy rival.

"Yeah Spike." He heard Hank yell while he was sending Combs punch after punch, not blinking, not even breathing, he just gave in to his feral instincts and didn't stop, not until he was pushed back panting and frazzled. Combs didn't wait for him to recover and hit him again and again, until he fell to the floor.

Like a wounded animal, Spike tried to get up on but his weak legs failed him, he glanced towards the cheering crowed and through the haze of his agony tried to find a reason to go on and avoid the noises at the same time. Using his hands he lifted himself up, and steadied his quivering body, but just as he felt strong enough to continue, he fell back again, this time not from his rival's blows but from sight in front of him that had almost the same effect.

_"Buffy." _

She was standing beside the ring, staring right at him, her stare so focused and intense, he couldn't have missed it, not even if there were more than a thousand people in the room, not even if they were naked. _Buffy_. .Her name slipped out of his mouth as a sigh, and that's when he was literally knocked to the ground.

"Oh God, Spike." Hank gazed down at the blond who was lying on the ground. He wasn't moving and Hank got quickly inside the ring and knelt next to him as questioning sounds came from the crowd. A mixture of excitement and confusion filled the air.

"Spike!" Hank gazed up and saw Buffy next to him.

"Spike…wake up!" she ran her hand over Spike's hair and shook him slightly.

"What wrong with him dad?" she gazed at Hank terrified.

"Move away please" A man her grabbed her arm.

"No wait-" she tried to push them away but she was pulled back.

Hank stood beside her and stopped her from approaching.

"What's wrong with him? Is he breathing? Is it his heart?" she asked glancing between the paramedic and her dad.

"Honey relax" Hank stroked her arm.

"Don't tell me to relax! .This is all your fault!"

"He's okay," they heard the paramedic say as he curved his neck towards them. "He's coming out of it," the medic stated calmly. "Need to take him back." Another man came and they lifted him up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hank grabbed Buffy's arm.

"Where do you think?" she said harshly, glaring at him.

"No, no, no young lady…they going to take care of him, there's nothing you can do…just wait patiently Buffy."

"I can't believe you!" Buffy yelled into his face. "You knew he was going to get seriously injured and you still let him do it….is that what you wanted for me? Watching anther person I care about getting hurt?...Is that's why you approved this relationship?"

"Buffy what are you-?"

"I want to know why. Why did you asked me to come here?" she said in a strangled voice.

Hank didn't know what to say, Buffy stared at his face and paused for a few seconds.

"Y-You wanted this to happen…didn't you? Me and Spike?" Realization dawned on her.

"I was hoping, but I didn't think you'd be falling for him so fast really." Hank smiled inwardly. "Kinda reminded me of me and your mom, at the begining anyway."

"Spike is nothing like you," Buffy blurted out, but quickly regretted her words, gazing down ashamed.

"No, he isn't." Hank searched her eyes. "He's stronger." Hank sighed and added.

"And he's never going to run away."

"I guess that's a Summers thing." Buffy calmed down and smiled at him slightly.

"Come here Buffy." Hank opened his arms to her.

"Christmas is coming soon," he said as he hugged her. Feeling that she wasn't fighting his closeness, he tightened his grip around her. "We really should buy a tree."

"Yeah." Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"I'll let you and Spike choose," Hank said in her ear and heard her sigh.

Buffy entered the room and saw Spike, his face all swollen and bruised, his body bent, and it looked like the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground were his two trembling hands holding the bed on both sides of his body.

"Can I?" she took the gauze from the man before her without giving him a chance to answer and approached the wounded boxer gravely.

When she was close enough she notice he was gazing at her intently and she blinked at the sight of him. He was torn - it almost brought tears to her eyes, but she couldn't show him his effect on her so she quickly took the gauze and pressed it to his bruised lip.

Hard.

"Bloody hell" Spike yelped.

"_Now_ you're being a baby?" Buffy frowned.

"It stings." he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Good" she muttered and resumed nursing him.

Pressing the gauze to his face she watched him flinch again.

"Here I thought you'd be comfortable covered with all your sexy wounds" she teased.

"Yeah…I feel very sexy…" Spike shrugged, face falling.

Buffy sighed and dropped her hand gazing at him, he seemed ashamed letting her see him like that, as if he was trying to process words fitting to that moment.

"Thought you wouldn't come to watch me kill myself." He repeated her words and gazed away.

"I've changed my mind."

"Why?"

_"Get your ass back to L.A before I fly it there."_

Buffy remembered her redheaded friend's words. She really became an assertive person. _Since when did Willow hold so much power? Who knew? _

"I realized that by watching, I'm actually helping you not kill yourself."

"By sending a stare that knocked me off my feet?" Spike gazed into her eyes.

"It's my special skill." A slow grin spread across her face.

"Then maybe you should have aimed your pretty eyes at Combs?"

"Sure you would have wanted that?" she asked with a leer.

"Buffy" Spike gasped watching her close the gap between them, parting her lips and staring at him.

Buffy watched his eyes light up as she breathed onto his face.

"I would have stopped you from fighting, you know, .if you haven't beaten me to it."

"Think you have that much power over me, pet?" he whispered.

Buffy gave him a wicked smile.

"You know I do." She kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his mouth.

"Are we alright then?" Spike broke the kiss.

"I don't know…are we?" she asked indecisively, pulling back.

"You ran away," he scolded her.

"I did."

"Are you planning on doing that a lot?"

"No," she pouted.

"Good" Spike gave her a hard stare, "because I'm not going to let you play me, I've got my pride, you know."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said in a low voice, staring at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"Let's get out of here." Spike got slowly to his feet, knowing that he couldn't continue this conversation with people watching.

"Where do you two think you're going?" Hank caught them in the hallway.

"Home," Spike said and continued walking wearily with Buffy under his arm holding him.

"Okay, but take this." Hank handed him a bottle of pain killers.

"Thanks dad." Buffy took it from him and gave him a slow smile.

"Yeah, thanks Hank." Spike lowered his gaze, feeling ashamed for not keeping his word.

"I'm proud of you son," Hank muttered and turned away.

"Let's go." Buffy gazed at Spike's stunned face, and knew she needed to distract him from thinking about the fight. Spike nodded and continued walking down the hall.

A crowed of people were standing near the exit, and not so far from them a man was leaning against the wall, surrounded by smoke from his cigarette.

"Nice show Spiky."

Spike recognized the voice from the day before; he quickly turned to face him.

"Angel." Buffy was surprised to see him and more so when she saw Spike approach him angrily.

"No Spike." She held him back.

"Now you've got a woman to carry you, what's next Willy? Send her to fight for you?"

"Spike," Buffy murmured gazing into his face. "Don't listen to him."

Spike gave Angel a sharp glance and turned away, letting Buffy lead.

"That's right, go bleached boy." Angel watched them leaving and added, "hey Buff! if ever want a real man, you know where to find me."

Buffy gazed at him sideways and muttered.

"There's nothing real about you Angel."

Spike's place was trashed and cold. Buffy wanted to help him get inside, but as they walked up the stairs he'd already told her he was fine by himself. He hadn't said a word all the way back and she thought maybe he didn't wanted to talk in the cab, or maybe he was embarrassed because after all, no man takes defeat lightly. .And certainly not Spike. Not after everything she'd learned about him. He was a proud man, mostly because he felt so vulnerable in the world, but if only he knew the power he held inside, the power he held with his words. If only she could let him know.

They stood in the middle of the living room in silence and squinted at each other, not sure what to say, not sure how to begin.

"You should rest." Buffy watched him struggling to stand straight.

"Buffy." Spike paused as if he was about to say something important.

"We can talk later Spike." She reached to hold his shoulder, but he grabbed her hand and gazed at her face.

"I've missed you."

Buffy brought her hand slowly to his face and cupped his cheek.

"I wasn't gone so long." she smiled at him softly.

"I thought-…god I'm such a git." He stopped himself, looking away.

Buffy took his hand. "Come here" She turned her back to the bedroom and pulled his hand not taking her eyes from him. "There's something I want to show you," she said quietly.

"Luv?" Spike asked inaudibly, but still followed.

"Don't worry Spike," Buffy smirked. "I'm not planning on hurting you…._much._" She repeated his words with an amused tone.

"You remember every single thing I say to you?" Spike watched her as she stood at the edge of his bed.

"Just the dirty stuff," Buffy joked.

"You like the dirty stuff huh?" Spike wiggled his eyebrow" Y- you little min-"

"Shut up Spike and lie down," Buffy groused impatiently.

"Alright…. _bossy chit._" Spike murmured and lay on the bed.

Feeling the soft mattress beneath him, Spike couldn't help sighing in relief. He wasn't aware of the pain he'd been repressing. His bones felt heavy as bricks and every breath he took made him feel a sharp stinging in his chest.

Buffy took off his shoes and crawled up his body to look at him. She shuddered at the sight of his bruised face, but the thought of the rest of his wounded body hadn't crossed her mind until that moment. She slowly began taking off his shirt, glancing briefly at his face.

Spike just watched her silently, amazed by the tenderness she was showing him.

_Is this what you wanted to show my? My angel…_

Alarmed, Buffy peeled away his shirt, revealing his pale skin. She gazed at his chest and ran her hand slowly along his black and blue bruises, causing him to flinch uncomfortably on the bed.

She pulled back and gazed at him, his eyes were closed, but it looked as if he was about to say something. She didn't wait to hear him and leaned to shower his chest with light kisses.

Pulling down, she lingered on his navel while her hands started pushing down his pants.

"Buffy." Spike gasped as if her touch caused him more pain then he was already feeling.

Buffy gazed up to meet his eyes.

"Missed you so bloody much," he said in a low voice and watched her as she smiled and pulled the rest of his shorts off.

Buffy pulled her dress over her head and threw it on the side of the bed.

"My beautiful angel," Spike murmured as she paused to gaze at him right before resuming kissing his chest.

Spike wanted to watch her body move, touch her, worship her, but he couldn't move, he was weak and besides Buffy's kisses and caress felt too damn good.

"Does that hurt?" Buffy leaned across his body and kissed his neck, her arms closing around him.

"No," he lied conflicted by the feeling of pleasure and pain.

Nestling onto his lap, Buffy continue kissing him, brushing her lips over his delicate skin and moving her hand down his stomach.

"Buffy," Spike breathed over her face right before she moved down to his thigh, her hands resting on each side of his body.

"I need-" he panted feeling her thighs brushing against him.

"What do you need?" Buffy whispered and tugged on his boxers.

"Bourbon" Spike replied.

"_Bourbon_?" Buffy gazed at him bemused.

"T-there's a bottle… at the side of the bed," he said stuttering, gazing away, trying to control the pain that washed over him.

"O-okay" Buffy reached her hand and brought him the bottle.

"Only because you're hurt." she said sitting on his lap.

"It's for medical reasons only luv," he grinned.

"Whatever," she pouted, feeling a bit disappointed and watching him hold the flask in his hand as he paused to look at her.

"Well?" Buffy grumbled. "Aren't you gonna drink it?"

Spike gazed at the bottle in his hand for a moment and then tossed it aside.

"Come here." he pulled her to rest beside him.

"There's something I want to tell you," he said quietly glaring at her face and pausing.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, watching him closely.

Spike took his time thinking carefully about what he was about to say.

"So," Buffy urged him on.

"Umm…" he mumbled.

"Spike?"

"God woman! Don't rush me."

"It's kinda hard looking at your face right now," Buffy replied cannily.

"Fine…Forget it," he groused and turned his back at her.

Buffy sighed, _men can be such babies_.

She spooned herself behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"What did you want to tell me?" she said huskily, stroking his arm.

"You're an irritating little bitch, Summers," Spike muttered under his breath and closed his eyes.

"That's what you wanted to tell me?" she raised her head angrily, waiting for his response.

She squinted at him and saw he wasn't even trying to look at her.

_Is he ignoring me?_

_Baby…_

She waited a minute and then brought her hand in front of his face. When she saw he wasn't even blinking she realized he'd probably fallen asleep. _Exhausted, _she thought _and no wonder considering._

She leaned back onto the mattress and decided she should probably rest her eyes as well. She had, after all, had a long drive and no rest at all the last two days…

She turned onto her side and gazed at his neck.

_Gorgeous neck…like the rest of him… Sleepy Gorgeous Spike…_

"I love you."

"What?" She was taken back by the low murmur in her ear, her wide eyes still fixed on his neck.

"You bloody well heard me," Spike mumbled wearily into the pillow.

A few seconds passed by and then Spike groused.

"Well… aren't you gonna say something?"

"Willow was right," Buffy muttered coming to her senses.

"Willow?" Spike turn to look at her.

Buffy gazed at Spike's eyes mesmerized by the intensity of his stare, knowing that even at that moment when he was weak and beaten, he could have won her heart all over again with just one glance.

"Right before I left… she said I don't have a home in Sunnydale anymore." Buffy looked down.

"That's a bit harsh." Spike pushed back a lock of hair from her face and watched her attentively.

"It true…'cause now I have a home…with dad…A-and you," she murmured bashfully and gazed up to meet his stare.

"That's how you feel pet?"

"Yeah…and I-" Buffy paused breathing deeply, feeling how the room had suddenly become extremely quiet.

Looking at her puzzled face Spike decided not to wait for her words and leaned over to kiss her gently.

"Not gonna let me finish?" Buffy broke the kiss.

"I'd rather move to the many climaxes part," he smirked.

"You're changing the rules?" Buffy asked playfully.

"Rebel here, normal rules do not apply," Spike said huskily and stroked his hand along her thigh. "If anything, they were made to be broken." He wiggled an eyebrow.

"You're so full of it."

"I am pet, but just be gentle with _it._" He gave her a peck on the lips.

"Hopeless," Buffy said short of breath, feeling his hand working his magic on her.

"You know it," Spike whispered and captured her lips again, feeling her moaning into his mouth, knowing her sigh meant _ - I Love you._

_**One year later…**_

It was late at the evening and Buffy tossed and turned on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position she could sleep in. "Guh stop it" she grumbled under her breath and turned onto her back to gaze at the ceiling. "Why are you always doing it when he's away?" she ran her hand over her stomach. "Umm?" she murmured as if she was expecting an answer. "Mommy made daddy go to AA meeting with grandpa because daddy has a bad habit he need to take care of." She then turned onto her side and settled slowly onto the bed. "And if mommy doesn't get some sleep she's gonna pick up some bad habits of her own," she said wearily and looked at the clock next to the bed.

Buffy took her eyes from the clock as she heard a noise at the door. "Thank God," she sighed in relief, and got up.

"Hi big mama." Spike walked in the living room.

"It's almost eleven."

"I know…sorry luv." Spike approached her with a smile on his face and she noticed his hand behind his back.

"I know that face, what did you do?"

"Nothing" he said innocently. "How's Billy?" he looked at her belly.

"It's Lizzy and she's kicking," she said as he reached his hand to caress her stomach.

"Can't blame me ...must have learn that from her mom" he wink at her.

"You're too happy, did they sink in booze at the AA meeting?"

Spike face fell. "Do I really need to go? That was bloody terrible."

"I wanted you to know what to expect if you keep drinking."

"I think I've learned my lesson."

"Good, now what did you bring me?" Buffy tried to look behind his back.

"Who said it's for you" Spike teased.

"Come on," Buffy pouted trying to look behind his back as he tried to hide the bag from her.

Buffy finally snapped at him when he kept hiding it.

"If you don't show me what's in the bag I'm gonna kick your ass."

Spike smirked at that.

"I just offered a kid some candy didn't I?" Buffy said glaring at his smug face.

"More like asked him to go trick or treating," Spike replied, amused, and opened the bag and brought the box in front of her face.

"Yay my favorites" Buffy said as she unwrapped the box quickly.

Spike watched her face light up and a warm feeling washed over him, like her smile always did.

"Can I have some? Didn't eat dinner," he asked playfully.

"Get your own." Buffy shrugged and put a cookie in her mouth.

"No boxing, no drinking, no smoking and now no cookies?" Spike pouted.

"It's not my fault you preferred knocking me up then knocking people unconscious."

"Very funny…"Spike knelt in front of her and touched her stomach. "You hear that Billy? Don't have your mom's sense of humor."

"It's Lizzy" Buffy muttered, chewing the cookie.

Spike gaze up to her.

"We'll see," he said smiling, feeling happy then he'd ever been.

THE END.

A/N –Thanks for reading :-))


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